#(it still sucks knowing i finished them on one of the worst days of my life... i knew i wouldn't be able to sleep after what happened)
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slimybeth69 · 21 hours ago
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Que Será, Será: Part 6
Rating: Explicit- Smut, violence, drinking/drug use. MDNI!! Summary: It's almost twenty years after some weird outbreak almost happened but the CDC took care of that...Now you're living in Austin, Texas as an adult.What happens when you meet Joel Miller who hasn't been hardened and ruined by twenty years of murder and loss?
Warnings/Tags: DaddyDom!Joel/ you. no use of y/n. No physical description of the reader besides one tattoo. Reader has a background story. Drinking/drug use. Slow burn. Smut. Angst. Cheating. Graphic depictions of violence. Eventual loss of virginity. Use of nicknames/pet names (lil girl, baby girl.) DD/lg dynamics. BDSM play. Unbeta'ed. WIP. Cross-posting from my Ao3. chapter warnings/ tags: embarrassing situations, porn, thigh fucking, teasing, Joel snoring.
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“Hey! I’m so fuckin’ sorry! Jeeeeesus, I feel like such an asshole.” Joel is speaking fast and with apologies all tethered to his words. “I’m real sorry. I left my phone n’ keys in my brothers truck after he dropped me off from the bar last night. Feel like a dick. Didn’t get my shit back ‘till just now when he dropped ‘em off t’me.” Joel sighs loudly. “I’m sorry. Hope yer’ not mad at me.” He sounds fretful. Worried.
“No. Not at all. I get it. Shit like that happens.” That does come out of you very casually. 
“I got worried as hell when you didn’t text or call. Nothin’. I thought fer’ sure you were gonna think the worst, block my number. Never talk t’me again.” Joel chuckles nervously. 
“Nah. I was hanging out–”
“Readin’ yer’ spooky stories?” Joel asks before you can finish and now… you might be in love with him. Fuck. 
“Yeah… I was actually.” You smirk against the phone like an idiot. 
“You wanna… come read ‘em here? I just watch football on Sunday… but, I wouldn’t be mad if you wanted to just come, I dunno, sit in my lap and hang out. Could smoke, drink a lil.” Joel speaks quietly and almost bashfully. You dunno.
You’ve done worse things in your life behind the wheel of a car, okay? You’re not even drunk. Not even a little. Nope. Feel bad for driving under the influence? Absolutely. But, you’re fine. You took your time packing your lil spend the night bag with your stuff for work tomorrow because he said you should stay the night. Okay. You’re calm and cool. Not overly excited. You brought your laptop so you could comfortably read your ‘spooky stories’ aka real life murders that have taken place. Joel is so cute. Fuck.
When you get to Joel’s house it’s almost two in the afternoon. You guys still have most of the day to spend together and hang out before you have to really go to bed. No more all nighters. Neither of you were children. He’s sitting on his front porch in one of those nice wooden rocking chairs. He has two of them. They’re big and sturdy and look kinda cozy, actually. He is at your door, opening it for you before the truck is even off. He doesn’t let you get out, he runs his hands along your thighs as you turn to face him in an attempt to jump down. 
“Sorry.” Joel smiles up at you apologetically and continues moving his hands up and down your legs softly. 
“Should be.” You tease him but lean in and give him a small, fast kiss. He hums happily in response and holds his hand out. You go to put your hand in his but he pulls it away with a sucking noise on his teeth. You pinch your brows together at him and he holds his hand out again, saying nothing. You look and he wants the two bags you have in your hand. 
“Lemme carry ‘em.” He says after a second you you hesitating. You eye him up and down. 
“Why?” You’re not suspicious or anything. You know he’s being a gentleman… you just… dunno. It’s weird. 
“Y’serious? Really?” Joel grabs the bags and the gentleman leaves him as he abandons you in the truck and starts towards the house. You roll your eyes and follow him inside. He’s walking upstairs already and you’re chasing him up, touching the backs for his thighs and his ass and he’s swatting your hands away. 
“S’no fun, is it?” You tease him and squeeze his ass playfully through his jeans. He jumps and glares at you over his shoulder. 
“S’fun when I do it to you.” he grins as you get to the top of the stairs. “Real fun.” 
“Oh, I bet it is.” You grin back at him as he walks into his bedroom. He sets your bags on his bed and turns to you. 
“Football’s on. Wanna come sit n’ smoke with me while I don’t pay attention?” He asks, chuckling softly. 
“Why wouldn’t you be payin’ attention?” You bat your eyelashes at him and smirk. 
“‘Cause my team sucks— what do you mean?” Joel gives you his goofy, dumb smile and wraps an arm around your waist. “I am real sorry. Feel bad y’probably waited up fer’ me n’ I didn’t call. I sat here all night just feelin’ bad.” Joel whispers before he kisses you softly. “Don’t wanna make y’sad.” 
“I wasn’t sad.” You lie. You lie so hard because you’re not gonna let him know you were sad. You don’t get sad over boys. You already cried once because you thought he went home after he ate you out. No. He won’t know it. 
“Well good. I’m glad y’weren’t cryin’ in bed. I don’t want ya doin’ that over me.” He kisses you again softly. You kiss him back but are thinking about a casual way to ask if he’s interested in marrying you really quick. You just wanna know what it feels like to be married to him and then everything can just, go back to normal. 
“I was a lil disappointed but, I didn’t let it ruin my night.” You lie again.  Joel smiles and kisses your forehead now. 
“Good.” Is all he says. “Get yer’ spooky stories n’ lets go smoke n’ I have a bottle of somethin’ downstairs.” He smirks as he walks towards the door but he waits for you. You grab your laptop and follow him down into the living room. He has a nice big, brown suede couch and a matching recliner. An ottoman to put your feet on. A table on either side of the couch. You set your laptop down and follow him into the kitchen just so happy to be here and be with him. You weren’t expecting to see him ever again. So, this is exciting. You’re not trying to hide that. You want him to know you’re happy to see him. 
“Did you have a good day yesterday after you dropped me off?” You ask as he grabs a cup and a decently priced bottle of whiskey and sets them next to each other. 
“I did. Groceries n’ normal bullshit. Had to get my laundry from the cleaners.” He explains. 
“You don’t do your own laundry?” You are slightly entertained by this for some reason. 
“Hell no.” Joel shakes his head and grabs ice from the freezer. “Haven’t done laundry since Sarah moved out.” He’s chuckling now as he puts the ice in the glass. 
“Did you… make her do your laundry before that?” You squint your eyes at him. 
“Hell no.” Joel says again but he laughs now. “I did mine n’ she did her own when she got old enough.” He laughs and pours whiskey into your glass half way and looks at you with a raised eyebrow. “Do you need… a coke or somethin’?” He says it with a wrinkled nose. You laugh at him. 
“Are you a whiskey snob? If y’are… I got a good story for ya… it’ll piss ya right off.” You smirk and lean against his counter. “I do want a coke.” You grin. Joel groans loudly and goes back to the fridge. 
“Let’s hear this good story, lil girl.” Joel rolls his eyes and doesn’t sound amused already. 
“You ever heard of The Reach—” You start but Mr. Miller finishes. 
“81? I sure have. Why? Y’know ‘bout it?” He pulls his head back from the fridge and stares at you with heightened eyebrows. 
“I do. Have you ever had it?” You ask curiously. Joel shakes his head no but stays quiet. “There is some back at my house– Cody is a huuuuuuge whiskey guy. I had no idea. None. Just thought it was like… expensive, ya know?” You nod at him and he nods back and then frowns before you can finish. 
“You put that into a Coke?!” Joel is so upset with you. So hurt, and so disappointed. 
“I didn’t know how much it cost!!” You exclaim.
“Almost more than my house!!” Joel almost shouts at you but it’s funny. “Jeeeeesus.” He shakes his head in disappoint again and pours Coke into his semi-expenisve whiskey and groans. 
“Oh god. Guys and their shitting on things girls like.” You sip your drink as he rolls his eyes. 
“I’d shit on anyone who did that.” Joel grumbles at you but is pulling you into the living room. He sits right beside you on the couch and hands you your laptop. “Let’s see these scary stories you’re talkin’ ‘bout.” He sighs and puts his feet up on the couch. He says it like you ran in here trying to show him this blog. So excited about it. You smirk and open the laptop. 
As the screen resumes the last internet browser page you were on… you snap the computer shut and do absolutely nothing else. Nothing. You freeze but you know what he saw. You were looking right at it… with him. So. You both know what you saw. He’s silent. It’s just very quiet minus the TV in the background. Finally, after so long of no talking and not even looking at him or moving, even… the man speaks. 
“What…what was that?” He asks very curiously. You’d be curious too, if you were him. You are dead on this couch. The first person to ever die of real embarrassment, honestly. You forgot what you did before you cried yourself to sleep in bed last night. What you used this computer for… You’re going to pass away right now. This is…not happening. No. Can’t be. 
There is no way that the last browser you had open on your computer was a fucking porn website. And… porn is so normal, Joel probably would have laughed about it with you but what you had in the search bar… and what you had pulled up on the screen wasn’t alarming or even unnatural. No, not at all. So natural. Two natural bodies. A man and a woman… 
The man… might look like Joel… a little bit. And the girl… might look like you… a little bit. The search bar definitely didn’t have the words ‘hot gray fifties man younger girl’ in there. No. It fucking can’t. You are trembling. He’s not going to see the search bar. No. Only you know what you typed in last night but the resemblance between those two actors and yourself and Joel are… uncanny. Honestly. You were… so excited when you found it– kind of nervous because for two seconds you thought Joel made a porn with you while you were sleeping. The two people were not you guys. Looked a lot like you guys though. Just enough differences and also too many fucking similarities for it to not do what you wanted it to do. So, that’s even more annoying. It didn’t even work. You were too upset about being not ghosted. So. You’re dumb and embarrassed. 
“Hey, what was that?” Joel asks after what feels like an hour of you just looking at your closed laptop. 
“N–”
“Don’t say nothin’.” Joel barely lets you even start. So. He knows. 
“What did it look like?” You ask, snapping your head to him now. He has the smallest smile on his face, leaned in trying to see the screen you snapped shut. You wonder right now if Cody would buy you a new laptop if you smashed this one. No. He wouldn’t. He’ll buy himself $125,000 scotch though. So. Cool. You swallow hard.
“Uh… it kinda looked like me?” Joel flicks his eyes between your closed computer and your almost tearful eyes. You’re not crying. Just haven’t blinked in eight minutes. 
“That’s crazy you think that.” Is all you can come up with because you’re stunned that this is happening to you right now. Joel shakes his head in bewilderment. 
“I know what I saw.” He points to the computer. “Open it.” 
“No.” 
It’s a standoff… a staring contest… a who can hold their breath the longest competition. You lose and blink first and when you do— Joel takes the computer from you, so quickly. You didn’t think that’s what he was going to do. You freeze and Joel freezes too, his hands are about to open it. 
“Do y’wanna show me yer’self or… do I need t’look?” Joel is smirking over at you. It might be less worse if the computer is in his lap and not right in front of you. You can at least not look then, feeling less shame for a moment until he shames you himself. 
“Do it.” You whisper, shielding your eyes from the monstrosity that is about to unfold. Nothing bad is going to happen. Nothing. You know this. It’s just going to fucking make him way to happy. Way too happy. Like when you told him your sex toys didn’t do what he did to you. UGH. 
“Y’sure?” Joel raises one brow at you. 
“I’ll… never open that computer myself.” You speak with no emotion because he’s already doing it. It takes three seconds for the screen to come to life. 
There it is. Joel’s fucking body double… railing some fucking twenty five year old. Hard. You turn away. You can’t look and see what he thinks of this. It’s too much. You hear the computer keys click and then the video starts to fucking play. Loudly. It’s…porn sounds. Moaning and skin slapping together. This guy is talking dirty. The girl is calling him daddy… You feel like you could throw up. 
“Damn.” Joel whistles after. “I don’t really watch porn but…this is good.” He speaks to the computer, apparently, because you’re facing the complete opposite direction now. You’re thinking about putting your hands over your ears, but Joel wraps his arm around your waist and pulls your back into his chest a little. “Watch it with me.” He whisper.
“I’m too embarrassed to be turned on.” You groan and close your eyes. 
“So… we’re not gon’ do nothin’ today. I have self-control. I can teach y’some if y’need me to.” Joel isn’t teasing when he says this. He’s so serious. It for some reasons calms your nerves and also offends you a little bit. 
“I have self control.” You roll your eyes but lean into him and put your head on his shoulder and reluctantly watch the screen of your laptop with him. 
“Ok.” Joel snorts at you but holds you against him when you try and move away. “Tell me what you like ‘bout the way he fucks her.” Joel whispers into your ear quietly. You snap your head up to him with wide, questioning eyes. “I know why y’picked it… wanna know why y’kept watchin’...” Joel whispers again and his breath in your ear gives you goosebumps. You swallow hard again and watch the screen. 
Joel’s twin has your look-a-like on her knees with her chest pressed into the mattress. Her back is arched so dramatically that it looks like it might hurt, regardless, the guy in the video is…hammering into her and she is begging him to make her come and he keeps telling her no. He’s spanking her with some fucking sex thing. You dunno. It honestly looks like something that would come on the handle of a child’s bike. Buncha lil tassles! But!!! This one is leather and all black and he is… spanking her. 
“I like all of it.” You shrug your shoulders not wanting to say thing specific because you don’t wanna sound silly or inexperienced. Your answer isn’t enough for him. 
“You like how she’s layin’ on the bed?” He asks, holding his hand up to her like you cannot see. 
“Yeah, sure.” You nod and shrug your shoulder closest to him. He respires through his nose quickly and then points to how he’s holding on to her hips and slamming into her from behind. 
“Do you like that?” He sounds so curious to know if you really did like it, and almost like he knows you didn’t. But you did. 
“Yeah. He’s really givin’ it to her.” You whisper this now, because saying it in a regular volume feels dirty. When Joel speaks, he also whispers. 
“Do you like how he’s tellin’ her not t’ come?” Joel isn’t looking at the computer anymore, he’s looking right at you and you’re trying not to look at him. You shrug your shoulders and say nothing because that sounds horrible. Being denied a come??? No thanks. You’re good with coming freely whenever you want. “Why dontchya know, lil girl, tell me?” He coos to you softly and sweetly. 
“I dunno. Do you like being told not to come?” You do look up at him now and he’s already nodding.”
“Yeah.” Joel smirks a little. “Not always n’ not forever… but yeah.” He speaks in his normal tone again and looks back at the screen. He points with his finger to what the porn star has in his hand. “Do you like that ?” Joel looks back at you now. Emotionless. He doesn’t want you to know if he likes it or not. What a fucking ass. 
“I dunno. I’ve never… been spanked befo—” You’re casually explaining your inexperience to him when he cuts you off. 
“No one’s ever spanked you? Not even foolin’ around or nothin’?” Joel sounds shocked. You shake your head. 
“No, I just… I dunno.” You avoid his eyes. 
“S’wrong?” He closes the laptop and suddenly this has turned into a serious conversation. 
“Nothin’.” You’re just being shy. This is weird. You hate that he’s probably slept with thousands of women and you… are you. So. You’re feeling intimidated. 
“Tell me.” Joel pushes but not angrily or aggressively. He’s trying to figure you out. 
“I don’t even know what’s wrong! I’m just embarrassed.” You sink into his couch and rest your head back on his shoulder. 
“Of what!?” Joel points to the computer “That? Don’t be. That’s fuckin’ normal. Hot. Guy kinda looked like me, huh?” He says this like it’s supposed to comfort you. “You watch that last night? Missin’ me?” Joel whispers now and still speaks too comfortingly…almost condescendingly, but not quite there. It’s making your lower stomach flutter though. You nod silently. “Awhh ain’t the lil girl real sweet, you come?” He is grinning but whispering and still talking so nice.
“No.” You whisper. 
“S’how you wanna get fucked? Or y’watchin’ it ‘cause I told ya I liked it like that?” He asks softly, turning to speak against your forehead. 
“Lil of both.” You mewl quietly. Joel lets his head fall back against the couch and he sighs softly. “What’s wrong?” You pull your head off his shoulder and look at him. 
“Not one single fuckin’ thing.” Joel chirps happily and pulls you into him tighter. “Go n’ read yer’ scary st— or finish yer’ lil video if ya want.” Joel lifts his head and is grinning at you playfully. “Dirty Bird.” He pinches your side, puts your laptop on the couch beside him and stands up. 
“Where ya going?” You watch as he walks towards the kitchen. He holds up his empty beer bottle and then disappears. 
Holy fucking shit. You open your laptop and close out of that shit so quickly and open your blog. Oh god. That wasn’t too bad though. Pretty good actually. Kinda hot. You wonder if that’s a normal thing to do. Watch porn with the guy you wanna fuck. You don’t really want him looking at another naked woman… so… you dunno. Might not do it again.
Joel comes back with a joint behind his ear. He’s so fucking hot. Fuck. His jeans and his t-shirt. Shit. He said nothing’s happening tonight… why? You don’t ask. No. Enjoy this. Live in the moment. He sits down practically on top of you and looks at your laptop to see what you’re doing. 
“Okay… these are the spooky stories..” He nods his head and reads a couple words and then pulls his head back and looks at you. “That’s– uh.. That’s not spooky, babe. That’s a graphic description of someone bein’ murdered… it looks like.” Joel checks the screen again and then looks back at you. “Yeah.”
“It’s a true crime thing.” You explain. “It tells you al the horrible details of crimes that they normally leave out of the podcasts…” You nod sadly.  “I like reading though…so it’s not too bad.” You shrug. Joel is blinking at you. 
“Y’wanna know all this shit? It doesn’t make y’sad?” He is confused.
“I mean… sometimes ‘cause, yeah it is sad. It happened though– I dunno if that’s disrespectful but the lady who does this blog is always real nice. There are certain cases she won’t talk about ‘cause the families had said they don’t like when people do stuff like that.” You explain but Joel isn’t swayed. 
“Yeah… that’s kinda weird t’exploit someone’s murder.” Joel shrugs his shoulder. 
“She doesn’t make money. Those weird podcasters do. Not her though– at least I don’t thin. She’s never gotten a red cent from me. Never asks.” You shrug. 
“Eh, I don’t give a shit enough to argue with you ‘bout it.” He shrugs, kisses your cheek and watches the TV. You have to sit with that statement for about three minutes before you decide you also do not give a shit enough to care and don’t fight with him. 
Football is… fun? You dunno. Not a real fan. Some of the guys on his TV though are CUTE! What!? Jeeeesus and they’re just running around hitting each other? 
“Why don’t they do that all the time?” You ask, holding your hand to the TV. He doesn’t look away from the screen when he answers you. 
“Do what?” He is interested in the game. His team must be doing good or something. 
“Uhh– the sounds— the player sounds.” You nod and look over at him, ripping your eyes away from those men on the screen. 
“What’re y’talkin’ ‘bout? He still doesn’t look at you. 
“Okay, so they’re always talking. Blah blah blah– like we aren’t watching the fuckin’ game they’re talking about!? Stupid. Tony Romo’s voice is fucking annoying. I’d rather hear the players!!” You exclaim. 
“The players aren’t sayin’ nothing. They’re just gruntin’ n’ talkin’ shi-”Joel stops and looks over at your innocent face. 
“It’s better!! Better than Tony fucking Romo. Jesus.” You roll your eyes and go back to your blog. 
What a great time for Matt or as you put him in your phone as ‘matt cat cute tattoos’ decided to go ahead and text you. The message– as well as his name– pop up in the corner of your computer and you get a notification ding, a loud one. 
Looked cute yesterday. Wyd today?
As soon as you get it, Joel’s entire body stiffens besides you but he says nothing, doesn’t move. Nothing. You don’t know what to do. Bringing this computer into Joel’s home has been nothing but bad— just bad. It was bad at first..then kinda good again…now so bad. So, so bad again. Shit. Joel still doesn’t speak and you don’t know what to say so you just exit out of it– and then sit there. 
You watch the TV and the clock on the screen was at fifteen minutes when you looked and it stops so many times. So many times that clock stops and starts and they add time to it again once. It’s not until there are only two minutes left in the quarter that Joel speaks. 
“So… who is Matt?” He asks so casually. 
“Just a guy from the cat shelter.” You explain innocently. 
“Oh, gotchya.” He nods his yeah slowly, you can see him nodding out of the corner of your eye. “He that cute?” 
“Oh god.” you put your head in your hands. “I gave him my number yesterday after you dropped me off because I didn’t know if you like– really wanted anything to do with me.. Like actually? Ya know.” You don’t look at Joel because you are too scared.  “Kinda the same reason you liked Ava’s picture before we hung out that night.” 
“Yeah…I see what yer’ sayin’...” Joel sighs but he sounds like he has more to say. He does. “We had hung out though…” Joel is not looking at you either. You both are just speaking facing the TV on the wall in front of you. 
“I know…” You’re shaking and you wonder if he can feel your trembling body literally touching his. 
“Did you go see him last night?” Joel asks emotionless and now you turn to look at him because no you didn’t. Didn’t even think to text him because you had already forgotten about Matt. If you had even fucking remembered in your sadness… you might have gone to see him. 
“No. I didn’t.” You say so confidently and now he looks at you. “I swear I didn’t.” Your eyes scan all across his face and he stays emotionless, doesn’t smile…nothing. 
“Why?” He is still so calm. 
“What do you mean?” You’re stunned to say the least. What the fuck? Did he want you to? Is this a trick? You’re so confused and wanna know what the fuck is going on. 
“Why didn’t you go see him? I blew you off last night n’ you still didn’t go see him?” Joel asks, now a little curious.
“Blew me off?” You wrinkle your brow at him and he panics for half a second in his eyes and then goes back to being calm. 
“Didn’t call or text you.” He defines being blown off to you like you don’t know what the fuck it meant. 
“No. I know that… but I don’t think that’s what you meant to say. What happened last night?” You turn it around on him and wait for his response. 
“Tell me why you didn’t go see that guy and I will.” He pulls away from you a little and you do it too at the same time and read his face. You dunno. It’s just handsome Fucker. 
“No. Did you really forget your keys and phone in your brothers truck last night?” You ask quietly and Joel groans.  
Doesn’t matter. You’re off the couch and running up the stairs to get your stuff. He lied to you. Lied right to your fucking face and then continued to fucking lie. Are you kidding!? He’s chasing you, faster and with more desperation this time. You’re flying up the stairs and into his room. You cannot slam the door in his face because its his house and his bedroom so you run in and grab your stuff off the bed but he’s in the doorway when you turn around. Panting. 
“Move.” You snap at him but he shakes his head. “Then I think I’m officially being kidnapped or being held hostage and I will fight you off. I will fight you so hard.” You point at him but you will not fight him. He could kidnap you and you’d be fine with it. Unless he was with Ava. Then you’ll just kill him. Skip the fighting part. 
“No.” Joel shakes his head again. “Not fuckin’ kidnappin’ you. Grow up.” he snaps at you and is still panting. You roll your eyes. 
“Old!” You snap back at him. “Fuckin’--- just old! Fuck!” You are so pissed and do not know what you’re saying. 
“Stop it.” Joel waves his hand at you and pinches his brows together. 
“No. Tell me what happened.” You bobble your head from side to side and cross your arms over your chest with your bags still in your hand. You purse your lips together tightly. 
“Got more drunk at the bar with Tommy than I usually do, n’ he dropped me off. I just fell asleep ‘fore I could call you. Got in bed and had the phone right there in my hand…just passed out.” He sounds ashamed of himself. 
"That's same shit excuses the thirty year old's I stopped talking to would use. Awesome.” You roll your eyes and think about what Patti said. You’re not asking him shit and don’t care anymore. 
“We had just’ finished a big job the day before– bunch’a guys from work were there.” He shrugs his shoulders. 
“Why not just tell me that?” You press your lips together again. 
“‘Cause of what you just said. I don’t want you thinkin’ that’s the kinda guy I am.” Joel sighs. "We were just celebratin'. Made good money on that job. Drank more than normal."
“Well… now I think you’re a liar. So, that sucks. You could have just said that to me last night when we were texting. Could have just sent me 'At Bar'... I would have figured it out." You sigh loudly and work up the courage to try and leave even though you don't really wanna. You're gonna though. You’re leaving. Lyin’ aint your flavor baby! You don’t play that shit. No. You can deal with emotionally unavailable. You can deal with distant– love that apparently… but you won’t be lied to. 
“I’m not a liar– look.” Joel pulls his phone out and shows you the screen after he pulls up some bullshit. It’s a picture of him and his brother at the bar. Cool. Who cares. 
“Okay, I dunno that you came right here after. You were so quick to lie to me.. Which is what I have the real problem with– not you getting drunk. I don’t give a shit about that. I’m not dumb and naive.” You go to push past him through the door but he doesn’t budge. 
“C’moon.” He sounds sad but you don’t care. 
“No. You’re willing to fuckin’ lie to cover that shit up…something soooo stupid and meaningless.  Something I would have been mad about? Yeah I would have. But would have gotten over--- in a couple days! ‘Cause ya were honest with me. Not lying to get me to your house. Ugh. Fuckin’ gross.” You scoff. 
“You wanna go home?” Joel asks now in a very firm tone. You don’t. You were having so much fun before stupid Matt. Having fun pretending to watch football and snuggle with him!!
“Not really!! I was having fun!!” You exclaim in frustration.
“So stay!” Joel exclaims in matched frustration. “I just didn’t want you fuckin’ bitchin’ at me ‘bout my drinkin’ with my brother! Sorry!” He is still frustrated. 
“Um. No. That sounds stupid.” You roll your eyes at him. "Lie to me to keep me from being upset with you about something?"
“You really think Imma liar?” Joel sounds so hurt now and you see in his eyes that he actually is a little hurt by this. 
“Welp, seeing as you lied. Kinda.” You huff angrily. Joel rolls his eyes. That’s the straw on the camel's back right there. “Fuck you. How are you going to be annoyed? I told you the truth!” You snap at him. 
“Fuck you, too!” Joel snaps back for… no reason. Just said it to say it. It’s kind of cute but also incredibly annoying. “How do I know yer’ not lyin’ ‘bout going to see that guy. You lied to me about being a virgin that first night... told me ya weren't... why?” Joel flicks his eyebrows up to you. 
“BECAUSE I WAS ASHAMED!!?? DIDN'T THINK YOU'D WANNA SEE ME AGAIN IF I TOLD YOU!!??” You shout. Joel's shouting is much different from yours. Very loud. Much louder and deeper and bellowing. 
“SO WAS I!! SAME REASON!!” Joel shakes clenches his jaw tight. "I’m fuckin’ ashamed I got that drunk." Joel exclaims at you in frustration-- much softer now though. but then he just groans before he speaks again. "Fuuuuck. I hate this shit. Stupid shit.” Joel throws his hands up in the air and huffs. “I’m goin’ to watch football.” And then he marches his stupid ass right downstairs. You flick him off for two full minutes now that he is out of sight. He is kinda right. Sonofabitch. You hate when men are right. Hate it. You don’t even wanna go back downstairs. But you do. Joel is sitting where he had been before and doesn’t look at you when you come down– with no bags. You feel so uncomfortable. 
“Do you want me to stay?” You grumble. Joel snorts. 
“Do you want to?” He scoffs at you softly still looking at the TV.
“If you’re going to talk to me like that, no.” You roll your eyes. Joel flicks his head to you now, with soft eyes and small smirk... and pats his lap. “What?” You're confused. 
“C’moon.” Joel nods you over to him.
“You want me to come…sit on your lap?” You raise one eyebrow at him suspiciously. He silently nods. Then he beckons you again with another patting of his muscular thigh with his fucking big, strong, stupid hands. You say nothing and don’t even look at him as you shuffle to him. He holds your waist and sits you down on to him. The back of your thighs is right on top of his and you’re more on the couch than in his lap. He looks down at you and smirks. 
“I won’t lie t’ya anymore. I’m real sorry. Didn’t wanna look like n’ ass. N’ I did anyway.” He runs strong hand across your legs softly and scans your face. “N’ I believe y’didn’t go see that Matt fucker.” He grumbles his name and makes you chuckle. “Why’d ya think I wouldn’t want nothin’ t’do withya?” He’s somehow leaned in and now only inches from your face. How did this happen?
“I dunno– you’re kind of established n’ I’m not.” You whisper softly. “N’ I thought maybe all you wanted was... the only thing I got to offer.” You chuckle but there are other emotions brewing inside you. Shit. You’re not gonna cry. No. You will not. 
“Stupid.” Joel leans in and kisses you softly, his tongue flicks across your bottom lip but doesn’t enter your mouth or do anything else. You whine softly when he pulls away. “Football.” He nods his head to the TV. 
Fuck. He does have self control.
Joel leads you upstairs for bed later after locking all the doors and windows, checking the thermostat and making sure all the blinds were shut. You cant help but wonder if he does it ever night as a cute lil routine and now you are in love with him. No you’re not. Stop doing that. No. He’s a man and just regular. You keep telling yourself that as he walks you into his bedroom and pulls his shirt off over his head and tosses it in the hamper. 
“You got pjs or do you need something?” he asks, knowing you have a bag of clothes… he carried it in. 
“I have —” You’re trying so hard not to smile at him for no reason as he grabs a t-shirt from his dresser and tosses it on to the bed near where you’re standing. 
“You could use that if you wanted.” He’s being so serious. If he’s being cute and flirting he isn’t showing it as he works on his belt. Your body jolts into gear when you become fully aware that you’re just standing there staring at him. You pull your own shirt off and unclasp your bra around the back and let it slide down your shoulders and arms. You half expect Joel to be staring at you stupidly like an idiot, but he just walks behind you, brings his rough, strong calloused hand to your waist, squeezes softly and walks into the bathroom. 
You throw on his t-shirt and pull your shorts off and walk into the bathroom with your toothbrush feeling…so silly for some reason. You shouldn’t!! He wants you here. Gave you the stupid shirt without you asking. He knew you wanted it. Or he wanted you to have it… which was even cuter and made you even more nervous and feel even sillier. 
Joel hands you toothpaste as you stand in front of the vanity mirror. It’s a good mirror. You’re thinking about how good it would be to sit on the sink and pick at your face in this fucking thing while you brush your teeth. You might if you ever get an opportunity. You brush real good and follow Joel back into the bedroom, he waits for you at the door of the bathroom and extends his hand to you. To walk to his bed. Six feet away. You do not give one single fucking shit. He could hold your hand into the zombie apocalypse if he wanted. You’d let him lead you right into that shit. Fuck.
He pulls the sheets back for you and walks around the bed as you crawl in. 
“Hey.” He growls once he’s in bed. You’re so far away from him. There could be three more people in here. 
“Hi.” You have to speak with your real talking voice to make him hear you. 
“You could come closer.” He chuckles softly. 
“Why is it so big!?” You smirk at him as you have to take several hands and knees over to him. 
“I’m a big guy.” Joel shrugs. 
“Not this big!” You snuggle right up into him and now there is… still an entire queen sized bed left over where you had just crawled from. You giggle excitedly and wiggle around beside him. He is warm and perfect and smells like Joel and this is exciting. You're so happy to be here.
“What’re you wormin’ around fer?” Joel looks down at you, smirking. 
“I dunno. Just happy to be here, I think. Got the sillies or something.” You giggle up to him. “Do you not get in bed and get all excited to be in bed n’ snuggly next to someone??” You look up and him and suddenly feel kinda dumb but he doesn’t let you for long as he wriggles down beside you and wraps you up in his arms. 
“ Shiiit… no. I’m a grown man.” He sounds offended that you’d ask him that. “But you can squirm n’ worm all around next to me whenever ya’ want..” Joel chuckles and kisses the top of your head. 
“I got a cat yesterday. S’why I was at the cat shelter.” You whisper up to him. “Her name is Agatha Christie.” You add quickly after a second of silence. Joel tries and fails to stifle his laughter. 
“What!? Did you pick that name out? Poor cat.” He’s still laughing and jostling your whole body around as he laughs heartily. “Why’d ya get a cat?” 
“I’ve wanted one for a while.” You snap at him. “And her name is good!! I like spooky stuff… Agatha Christie wrote creepy detective books!! Death on the Nile!! So good!” You’re semi offended. Joel rubs his hand all along your back and shoulders. You're running your hand all across his soft n' smooth stomach except for a lil trail of hair that leads down into his boxers. He's so soft n' pudgy but firm and tight at the same time. You wanna run your tongue all along him. Shit. Talking about cats. Fuck. Okay.
“Issa good name fer’ you. Yeah, yer’ right.” Joel is still chuckling. 
“I didn’t even name her that!” You poke him in the sides and he grabs your wrist gently. 
“I’ll spank you into next week. Don’t.” He growls it. 
“Next week? For a poke? Seems excessive…” You roll your eyes at him but, you want him to. Want to poke his soft and pudgy and perfect tummy. It's calling for you.
“Don’t…” Joel is warning you. 
“Are you super ticklish?” You’re not going to tickle him…because you don’t like being tickled. Hate it even though it...tickles and makes you laugh.
“Just don’t.” He sighs loudly and lets your wrist go. It was never tight to begin with. You just like him holding onto you.
“Fine.” You feign annoyance as you kiss his shoulder softly. He sighs softer now and rubs your back gently again. 
“Roll over.” Joel whispers quietly. You do exactly as he says and might never question him ever again. He molds himself into your back and ass and his legs are pressed into yours. He is engulfing you. His mouth is right beside your ear now. “Glad you stayed.” He murmurs softly. 
“Me too.” You breathe out softly. 
“I’m gon’ tease both of us a lil now, don’t get too worked up, ‘kay Cricket?” He snickers so softly in your ear as he pushes his groin into your ass softly. “Love teasin’...” He keeps speaking as he grinds against you. “Feels fuckin’ good, don’t it?” His voice is so soft and if his cock wasn’t getting hard against you, you’d fall asleep he’s so calm and soothing. 
“Yeah…” You sigh because it’s all you can do. His hand is moving all across your stomach and down between your legs for… milliseconds. It makes you groan and him chuckle each time. His strong fingers pinch and tug at your nipples softer than the first time he touched them. 
“You like this? Want me t’stop?” He kisses behind you ear gently and then breathes out against you as he works his cock into the V between your closed legs and pussy. “Shit.” Joel chokes it back and pushes into you harder. You can feel his searing hot length against the skin of your inner thighs and through the fabric of your panties. “I gotta stop.” He chuckles but does not. 
“Keep going.” You whisper to him and pause for a moment. “Please?” You really want him to keep going…you’re not really sure why. It doesn’t feel like much of anything to you other than something hot and hard between your legs. “Don’t stop… Mr. Miller.” You bite your bottom lip and cringe and how awkward you are and then Joel reacts to this.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” He spits the words out and pulls you back against him even tighter, his forearm between your breasts and now his hand is around your neck softly, he’s breathing into your ear. “What did you say?” He whispers but there is force behind this whisper. 
“Please don’t stop, Mr. Miller.” You whimper softly as his hand tightens around your throat. “I’m sorry?" You’re kinda scared because this giant man has his hand around your throat… but is still doing whatever it is he’s doing between your legs. Fucking your thighs? Dunno. He’s still doing that but faster now. And choking you moderately. 
“Fuckin’ naughty, lil girl.” His voice is so deep, fuck. Okay. Is he mad? 
“Do you really like that?” You ask nervously but his body is already telling you that he does… his voice is saying.. Maybe? His hand leaves your throat and his body stops moving against yours. 
“What’d I do?” he holds his hands up and freezes. You look at him over your shoulder and he’s panting, sweating a little, but looking at you fearfully. “M’sorry fer’ whatever it was…” 
“What? You didn’t do anything..” You blink at him. He blinks back at you. 
“Huh? Then what’re you talkin’ ‘bout ‘cause I love all that.” Joel sighs softly and relaxes. 
“Me calling you Mr. Miller?” You raise your eyebrow at him. Joel snorts and lays back in bed. 
“Uh…yeah. I fuckin’ do.” Joel shakes his head. “S’fuckin’... I dunno. I dunno why I like it. Yer’ the first woman t’ever call me that in bed...damn... I liked it though fer' some reason.” Joel sighs loudly. “Sorry. I ain’t mean fer’ it t’go that far. I snuck right outta my boxers.” He rubs the sweat off his forehead and looks over at you. “Y’like all that?” 
“You weren’t mad at me?” You’re still blinking a little. Joel looks like he’s replaying the last four minutes in his head to think if you did something to make him mad.
“No.” He says after a moment and then looks over at you. “What’d I do t’make y’think that?” 
“Uh… choked me? Sounded real mad?” You gawk at him. 
“Didn’t like bein’ choked?” 
“Well now that I know you’re not mad at me… I think I did? I dunno. Let’s do it again.” You suggest eagerly but he just laughs. 
“Nah, ‘cause then it wouldn’t be teasin’.” Joel shrugs his shoulders. 
“That is terrible.” You groan. “Don’t like teasing.” You whine and then face the other way again, annoyed. 
“Lose yer’ attitude, lil Bird.” Joel spanks your ass softly over the blankets. “T’cute to be all ‘tudinal.” 
“I thought you liked a bratty lil girl.” You mock him gently and smirk, getting comfortable in the bed next to him.
He chuckles beside you and rubs the fat of your ass over the blankets now. “Yeah… I do.” Joel sighs loudly and rolls back over to be behind you again. “Goin’ t’sleep now, really.” Joel kisses behind your ear and the the back of your shoulder and the top of your head. His arm drapes over your side and then it’s quiet. 
You’re too excited to sleep!? What!? Why did you not feel this way the last two times? You slept fine. Mr. Miller!! This sonofabitch gets you all horny for thigh fucking and then is sleeping behind you first? Unfair. Not cool. Okay….without that real loud fan from your place…his snoring is kinda loud. Real loud. Right in your ear loud. Is he being so fucking for real right now? This has to be a joke. 
No. 
He is so fucking for real. And the man…sleeps like he might be dead. If it wasn’t for the snoring…you’d think he was how he reacted to literally nothing you did. He had to be faking and pretending. You eventually weasel your way back across this football field sized bed and…the snoring isn’t too bad over here. Still kinda loud. You’ll be fine. You’ve slept through worse. Fighting parents (screaming dad) all night sometimes. This is nothin’. 
It was not nothing.
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tag list: @immyowndefender @korikolove @untamedheart81 @fanficlover1414 (i'll add or take you off, just let me know!)
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c0rpsedemon · 11 months ago
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oh yeah. the reason why i decided to reread tbhk (and thus it was able to hit me like a truck this time around) was actually not bc of mitsukou going canon but actually bc i maybe accidentally started a tbhk book club w my kids at work and wanted to check the contents of it justttt in case before i put the books in their hands
#tl;dr i have this one 4th grade boy who's a total weeb and knows that i'm the only one in this town who's more into japanese media than him#so he pesters me abt it every time he sees me. and the thing abt this kid is that he gets bored easily and if he does he turns into a#complete menace. now a couple weeks ago. he shows up at the program w one piece volume one and spends the entire time he's there peacefully#reading and not causing any problems on purpose. my coworker owen (the one who climbed onto the roof) and i were shocked and in awe of how#peaceful he was being and came to the conclusion that he NEEDS to have a manga volume in his hands at all times. few minutes later.#he finishes reading and isn't bored yet so he decides to go talk to me abt manga. specifically he starts pestering me abt what shonen i've#read despite the fact that i am a shoujo reader and told him that. but he knows i've read kuroshitsuji bc he previously asked me abt what#the worst anime i've ever watched is and i will never not take an excuse to drag the adaptation. and he figures that if i've read kuro i've#probably read more. and so i mention tbhk and he asks more abt it bc of the name involving toilets and him being a 4th grade boy so i give#brief overview and he wants to read it. and i come up with a scheme to make him peaceful AND to give him something to talk to me abt which#isn't 'i know you've read more shonen manga' 'let me gacha on your phone' or 'i saw an ad for rent a gf. thought it was lame. and now want#you to tell me how it sucks bc i assume you know everything abt every animanga ever' (<does unfortunately know too much abt rent a gf bc i'#a bit of a nosy bastard and watched the mother's basement video). so i offered to bring it in bc i own physicals of the whole series and of#as previously mentioned. gave it a quick reread in advance just in case. and got hit by it. hard. i love you tbhk almost as much as i love#when ppl get into things through me. honestly i think getting to live vicariously through him might be one of the main reasons it got me#this time around and not as much the first time (still loved it the first time though). flash forward a little while. one of the 3rd grade#girls is like. really into reading. and also macabre things. like ghosts. and she has two books from the school library. and has had the#same two books from the school library for over a week. she reads quickly and finished them both in under a day and is now bored out of her#mind rereading them. she asks to read the books i've been letting the other kid read. now there are two of them#romeo.txt
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soysaucevictim · 2 years ago
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I guess I feel like sharing those other pictures I took when I finished that set of bags I made for my set of Crofters jars.
(Warning for some grief talk in the read more segment to that post.)
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celestiamour · 4 months ago
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‧₊˚✧ ❛[ mad with need ]❜
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ft. logan howlett x f! reader — xmen, marvel
╰₊✧ you want him so bad that you feel like you’re going crazy so he indulges you┊3.0k words
setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: smut!! dom logan & sub reader┊x wade wilson too, age gap, dirty fantasies from a horny reader (who is actually insecure about herself), size difference, no prep we’re dying like nicepool, riding & unprotected piv, breeding/creampie, a bit rushed i need this out my wips
➤ author's note: okay so this is actually the very first logan fic i started, but i have no idea why it took me so long to finish it? it’s a bit all over the place, but i hope some people enjoy anyway!
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has he realized you were there and simply testing your self-control, or is he just being so effortlessly sexy again that you aren’t sure if you’re in love or jealous? was there any other reason for him to be laid out on the beat-up couch like something to feast on when he was simply holding a bottle of liquor in one hand to sip on and flipping through the channels of a barely-working box television with a remote in the other? why else would he be so delectable around a known pervert(s, wade is just as bad as you are, just more focused on the possible destruction of his home rather than the pansexual panic between you and logan plaguing him) if not to tempt you?
you’re constantly fawning over the sight of him and letting out dreamy sighs which have become more common lately than you would like to admit, swearing that you could gaze upon him for every second of the day and not tire of it. they say “god gives his most difficult battles to his strongest soldiers”, yet the battle assigned to you is restraining yourself from pouncing on him at the very moment and begging to suck his cock. you know that you’re horny most hours of the day and also kinda a brazen whore, but the way he makes you wet in record time should be worthy of a gold olympic medal.
every time his lips wrap around the rim of the glass bottle, you can’t help but imagine them somewhere else. the image of his handsome face between your legs and scruffy facial hair coated in your slick while he ravishes you haunts your mind whenever you try to sleep, yet the phantom sensation of his tongue on you while his nose stimulates your clit helps you rest in the end. you bet that he would be great at eating pussy too, with his sharp tongue and arrogant attitude— god. 
he’s also so jacked that even when he’s resting, his muscles still seem to bulge with prominent veins like a nurse’s wet dream and it has you downright drooling. now that the sleeves of his suit were gone, you could see how beefy his arms were, and seeing any inch of his skin had you acting up like a victorian man seeing a woman’s ankles for the first time. he could probably crush your skull like an egg if you ever found yourself head-locked in them (you’ve seen him do it to wade out of irritation, and you’ve never been so jealous).
and not to mention how peggable his shapely ass is, there’s really no limit to all the things you want to try with him if you were given the chance—
“are you finished staring?” his gruff voice brought you back to reality, refocusing your vision as he made a slight gesture to his body with one of his rare smirks, “like what you see?” it’s a rhetorical question, he knows how good he looks despite his age and you have already made your attraction towards him well-established. 
you don’t need to say anything, he can tell what you’re thinking as clearly as day, so you don’t bother making any dirty remarks like usual and just walk out the room. you paced around the house for a minute or two to calm yourself down until you eventually ran into wade. “oh my god,” you cupped your face with your hands, eyes becoming big and round as if you were going to cry, “i want him so bad, i feel like i’m gonna lose my mind if i don’t fuck him!”
“well, why haven’t you? i know for a fact that my presence isn’t enough to stop you from climbing him like a tree, so spill it!”
“uhhhh,” you pointed your fingers together to exaggerate self-consciousness, “what if… what if he doesn’t like me and just sees me as some annoying, excessively horny kid?”
“can you believe this bitch?” he scoffed, looking at the invisible audience that was always watching before grabbing your shoulders and violently shaking you, “listen here missy, he definitely likes you— i have yet to see that man smile at anything else that isn’t your face and comments that rival jjk twitter fans in vulgarity! why are you suddenly getting cold feet now when you’re such a player? you’re suddenly screaming, crying, and throwing up over peanut whom you’ve been hitting on non-stop since we found him?!”
“i don’t know! it’s different, he’s my hero, and— i know it’s hard for you to believe, but he’s not even half the asshole my previous flings were. besides, he so fucking hot—”
“yeah, but he’s also so fucking old— his dick is probably all shriveled up—” the sound of the said man clearing his throat made him jump out of his skin, slowly turning his head to look at the older man before giggling nervously and waving his hands around in some form of awkward greeting. even if he can regenerate and wounds are more like papercuts, the last thing he wanted was to get stabbed in the balls by his adamantium claws again for making such a comment. “ahaha, how much did you hear…?”
“enough,” he grunted, turning his attention to you, “and you’re coming with me.”
“huh—?” there was hardly a moment for you to properly react before he suddenly bent down to grab you by the waist and toss you over his shoulder, “you’re not even gonna ask me to dinner first?!” you must have looked like a fish out of the water with how your mouth was agape with surprise, and you heard him genuinely chuckle in amusement. both from the fact that you didn’t see this coming after all you’ve been saying to him as well as the fact that he could pick you up and throw you around like you weighed nothing.
“well, you didn’t exactly greet me with a ‘hello’ before shamelessly undressing me with your eyes when we first met, now did you?” you couldn’t see if he was smiling or not considering that you were upside-down. the current angle only gave you a close-up view of his perfect ass (not that you were complaining, you need to know his squat routine), unsure if the heat on your face was from the embarrassment of him calling you out or simply from the blood rushing to your head.
“what about me? are you lovebirds really going to leave me all by myself, lonely and yearning for the companionship of another while you two fuck like rabbits?”
“ahh, go fuck yourself.” the grin on his face dissipated the moment he opened his mouth, but it wasn’t enough to ruin his mood as he carried you away to the closest bedroom available, quickly flinging you on the bed without a bother to be careful when handling you since he knew that you could and have taken worse as deadpool’s sidekick. “why are you so nervous? think i don’t want you as much as you want me?”
“wait, actually?” your usually confident facade of the overly forward flirt was faltering more and more by the second.
“you’re so busy ogling my body that you haven’t even noticed the way i look at you, huh?” it’s obvious logan was an absolute beast of a man, but when he cages you with his arms between his bulky frame and the mattress, you feel like a little field mouse against a lion. the way your pupils dilate as you look up at him with adorned excitement has him so fucking feral, heat stirring in his stomach and blood rushing to his cock. he traced over your outfit, admiring how the skin-tight leather hugged your curved. “wearing such a slutty little things that leaves nothing to the imagination, and you expected me not to think about pinning you down and fucking you until you pass out?”
you shivered at his words, arousal pooling in your underwear and warmth spreading throughout your body under your skin. this cheeky son of a bitch can smell it too, the sweet smell of desire, sensing how needy you are for his touch and how your pussy is just begging for his attention. 
as much as he wanted to rip your clothing off and pound into you like there was no tomorrow, he wanted to take his time to properly treasure the cute sidekick who has been reminding him how it feels to be a man again, young and unafraid to pursue the woman of his dreams and treat her right the way that countless of others failed to do. (you’re going to laugh hysterically at him later on down the line when you hear him say that, never thinking you could be the object of anyone’s affection past a one-night stand, but the look in his eyes makes you realize he’s telling the truth and you’ll get all flustered over it.) 
you can taste the alcohol from earlier when he kisses you and moan into it, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer, all teeth, tongue, and animalistic want. he ran a hand down your torso to reach the zipper of your suit, undoing it in one swift motion, exposing your bare chest to his eager eyes.
“no bra?”
“i don’t need it when the suit— ah!” 
he cut you off, not caring about the intricacies of how the costume supported everything when he would only get distracted, moving his lips to take one of your perk nipples in his mouth and sucking like it was going to give him milk or something while pinching the other one in between his fingers. he’s like a kid on christmas playing with his new toy: palming at your breasts, cupping and squishing them together, and realizing that his large hands could practically cover them entirely.
“fuckk, you’re so pretty, doll,” he drawled, letting go of your teat with a ‘pop’ and kissing your neck before making you gasp by sinking his teeth into your skin. you gasped at the sudden sensation, deep enough to leave a lasting indent but not deep enough to draw blood, as he soothed the fresh wound by licking it with his tongue. everyone was going to know that you were his, especially that motherfucker he knows is listening in on the other side of the door with his cock in his hands.
 “logan…” you rasp, voice barely above a whisper.
“what is it, princess?” it was a nickname he has used plenty of times, yet it felt completely different in such a sexually charged situation, so much more intimate in a way that you feel your heart racing even faster than before and a rush of energy within. 
“need you…” you murmured.
“come on, a little louder, you need to use your words.” 
“fucking hell,” you covered your face with your hands, trying to ignore the way your cheeks burned, “i need you, logan! i’m gonna go crazy if you don’t fuck me right now!”
“hm, is that so?” he had been resting on his side up until now, laying on his back and lifting you up with both hands under your arms. you found yourself sitting pretty in his lap, straddling him, legs on either side of his waist. “why don’t you work for it then? work for what you wanted so badly this entire time?”
you inhaled sharply, looking down at this fine specimen of a mutant under you made of pure muscle and adamantium with a noticeable tent in his pants, a cocky grin gracing his features daring you to continue. only a fool wouldn’t take up his challenge. biting the inside of your mouth, you began to fully strip yourself of all clothing, kicking it off to the side to be forgotten and showing off your beautiful bare body that logan has been dreaming about since the moment he met you. “take your clothes off too,” you huffed, “it’s not fair for me to be the only one naked.”
he hummed in agreement, taking off the upper half of his yellow and blue-detailed suit, revealing his rippling abs and pecs— age has yet to make a dent in his physique, he doesn’t even look real. he’s not going to remove the bottom half though, both because you’re already on top of him and because you still need to “work for it.” 
experimentally, you rolled your hips on his bulge, feeling a twinge of amusement when he visibly had to clench his jaw to prevent a moan from slipping out. he’s just as pent-up as you are, no matter how hard he’s trying to hide it right now. you fiddled with the metal of his zipper for a moment before pulling it down, motions fidgety with nerves yet still determined to see this through. 
your eyes widen at the sight of his fully erect cock, noting instantly that he’s bigger than any other guy you’ve been with, yet still feeling your mouth water at the size and the vein trailing its underbelly. “is it even going to fit?” you manage to breathe out, reaching out to run a finger over the leaking tip and hearing him hiss.
“only one way to find out, but i think you can take it.” 
placing your hands on his shoulders for balance, you put his theory to the test and raised your body to sink yourself onto him, whimpering at the pleasurable stretch when you manage to make it past the tip. you’re so fucking soaked from your own thoughts and the few minutes of foreplay earlier that you didn’t even need his fingers to prep you, just using your slick as a form of natural lube and feeling him slip into you inch by inch.
“that’s it, doll, just like that,” he praised, the words going right to your head, really enjoying the show of you struggling to take all of him.
“mmhh, lo—” his name came out in a more whiny voice than expected with your eyes rolling back and nails raking into his skin. your thighs were aching with the constant repetitive motion of working yourself up and down his cock, taking one step back for two steps forward, more than halfway there yet unsure if you could handle it all when you felt so impossibly full already.
“shhh, i know, i know, sweetheart— just take your time, i’m not going anywhere.” his words are so sweet despite being a complete asshole by laying back and letting you do all the hard work, hands behind his head and everything while watching his cock slowly disappearing between your folds.
you look at him through glossy half-lidded eyes, brain turned to absolute mush, not even realizing that you had finally taken him to the base and was comfortably nestled on his cock. it took a few moments to adjust to his girth, breathing heavily with the swelling feeling of satisfaction developing within you. you have barely even started, and yet it was already so much better than anything else— he was so much better than anyone else. 
“you okay?” he waits for you to blink to process his words before nodding slightly, letting out a soft ‘yeah’ before your eyes went wide when he suddenly grabbed your waist and positioned you under him once again. you didn’t notice because you went dumb with dick (to put it bluntly), but he had been restraining himself from flipping you over to be on top or trying to buck his hips into you before you were ready. 
he then started thrusting into you at a relentless pace, your hands flying up to his biceps and clinging on for dear life to find purchase. there was no frame to go with this mattress you were resting on, but you were sure it would be banging against the wall until it broke if it was there. your eyes were screwed shut with your head thrown back into the pillow, letting out pathetic pitched moans along with stutters of his name as the orgasm in your stomach builds.
“aah, lo-logan!”
“don’t worry, i got you,” he lazily circled your clit with his thumb, feeling you clench even more tightly at the action, “just let yourself go, relax— cum for me, doll.”
you cried out as your climax washed over you, gushing all over his cock and the pants of his suit that neither of you bothered to take off earlier. it’s a shame that you ruined his clothing so soon when he just got this costume, but honestly, he likes it a lot better when the yellow is stained with the evidence of how good he made you feel.
the way your walls spasmed around him made him quickly follow suit, shooting ribbons of his seed into you and painting your insides white. perhaps he would have been able to hold on for a bit longer when he was younger, but he can’t find himself caring in the least when you were looking up at him like he was everything right now.
he leaned down to kiss you, slowly pulling out of you, being careful not to rest on top of you and crush you under his weight, generally being uncharacteristically sweet towards you in stark comparison to how he was rocking your world like you were the last two souls on earth just a minute ago.
“so… do you like me?” it was the tone he grew accustomed to when you and wade were teasing him, feeling you wrap your arms around him with a sigh and snuggling into his chest.
“yeah… i like you a lot more than you think…”
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miniwheat77 · 1 year ago
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Army Green. (Ghost x Virgin!Reader.)
!CW! NSFW, Smut, Age gap (Reader is 20, Simon is 32), unprotected sex, p in v sex, virginity loss, animal getting hurt, Simon in distress, PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE YOU READ. (Sorry if I missed any.)
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It’s a sunny day, you’ve spent most of the day outside.
Mostly working on your yard, but you didn’t always mind. It did get rough sometimes of course, living alone and doing all of the work constantly. You lived in a pretty small house. It had a smaller yard, gravel driveway. It was fenced in. It was nice.
Sometimes the work piled up, getting busy, trying to pull yourself out of a funk. Especially because doing 100% of the work was new to you. Since you’d just gotten out of a serious relationship. It was a tough situation. You’d moved out with your boyfriend at 18. You were together for the better part of your teenage years, your first real boyfriend, the only serious boyfriend you’d ever had.
The break up was miserable and rough. The fights were bad, the messages were vulgar and laced with venom. It was a really rough breakup that left you damaged.
You went from a two person household, to one. Having to work more to pay the bills, having to pick up the rest of the household chores and somehow still stay sane. It was tough, but you managed. You had a few friends that helped you stay busy, and you were thankful for that.
You were sitting on your couch, it was the weekend and you didn’t want to spend all of it doing yard work. Your friends were supposed to be coming over and you were excited to spend the night with them. Just as you finished cleaning up your house, you heard a knock on your door. Knowing that it was your friends, you yelled for them to come inside. They walked in with all kinds of drinks and snacks in their hands, ready to have a good night.
“Dude, your neighbor is super weird.” One of them mumbles. “He wears a mask with like.. a skull face on it.” She mumbles. “Yeah?” You laugh. “Why does that make him weird?” You question her. “That’s all he ever wears. I’ve never seen him in anything else.”
“So what. Maybe he doesn’t want people seeing his face.” You shrug. “Whatever. I think it’s weird.” She shrugs. “Maybe he’s like.. super hot and doesn’t want people to know.” Your other friend smiles. “Maybe. Walk over there and find out for me.” You nudge her. Earning a laugh from them. “You’ve never met him?” She asks. You shake your head. “No. I’ve actually never even seen him, I didn’t know he wore a skull mask.” You shrug. They laugh. Eventually the subject changes.
Later that night as you’re sitting on the couch, you’re all about to go to bed. “What if your neighbor is super hot?” She asks again. “There’s tons of hot people, be specific.” You toss a piece of popcorn at her. “I mean.. what if he’s like super hot. You should talk to him.” She shrugs. “Um. I’m pretty sure he’s like 30.” The other one laughs. “Oh.. well damn.” She sighs. “What’s wrong with him being 30? Why would that stop me?” You ask. They both look at you like you’ve just called them the worst names known to mankind. “Jesus! You whore!” They laugh. “I’m serious! What’s wrong with that.” You giggle. “Just.. not your own age?”
“Maybe that’s why guys suck so bad. Maybe we need to branch out a bit. Go for the weird old guys that wear skull masks.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you. “Maybe.” You smirk. “Nah, I’m not trying anything with anyone. Maybe not ever after Wesley.” You roll your eyes. “Oh please, Wesley wouldn’t see a good girl if he got hit by one.”
“Clearly.” The other rolls her eyes. “It’s just because I wasn’t ready.” You mumble. Earning glances for them. “Ready for what?”
“Sex.” They perk up. “What? You were together for that long and never had sex?”
“No?”
“Why not?”
“Because.. I’ve never had sex before? And wasn’t ready?” You laugh awkwardly. They’re both staring at you in confusion. “Well shit. We didn’t know that.” They laugh. “Damn. Whole new perspective.” They laugh softly.
“Yeah, my poor ‘old’ neighbor probably heard those nasty fights, no way he’d fuck around with a girl like me.” You laugh. “Never know until you try.”
You roll your eyes. “Goodnight you two.” You laugh, walking back into your bedroom. You settle into your bed, eyes heavy as you fade into a deep sleep.
You hear whining outside, it startles you awake.
You look at your phone, it’s early. The sun has just barely risen, it’s still mostly dark. Cascades of blue painting the sky. You sit up, rubbing your eyes as you hear it again. It sounds like a dog in pain.
You climb out of bed, walking out to your living room. You can still hear it faintly. Your friends are still asleep on the couch and you open your front door quietly, peeking outside. It’s cold, chills creep up your legs and arms immediately, maybe a bad time to sleep in a tank top and shorts. You step outside, covering yourself with your arms as you look around for the sound you’re hearing. You notice the noise is louder now, along with rattling. You spot a dog, it’s got it’s paw stuck in your fence. Fairly close to your bedroom, that’s why you heard it.
“Shit-“ you mumble. You jog lightly to get to her. It’s your neighbors dog, you assume the one with the skull mask. “Hey, stop moving.” You mumble as she tugs to free her paw. You hear a door open and close behind you, noticing it’s your neighbor.
And he doesn’t have on a skull mask.
“Shite, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize she’d gotten out.” He says as he jogs to you. You can hear the gravel giving away under his feet. “It’s alright. No worries.” You mumble. You unwrap her paw. “It’s alright, I’ve got you.” You mumble. As she whines more. Once you free her paw, she frantically licks at it. “Let me see it darling.” You breathe, reaching your hand out. To your surprise she lies down, rolling onto her back so that you could get a good look at her. Your neighbor crouches down to check the rest of her as you look at her paw. “Just a scratch.” You smile. “Yeah, she’s a bit over dramatic.” The man laughs. “I heard her whining.” You laugh. “Yeah. If I accidentally bump her she’ll yelp like I’ve cut her leg off.” He smiles. His accent is thick and his voice is incredibly deep.
And your friends were absolutely right, he’s hot as hell.
“I don’t think we’ve ever met.” You stand up. He stands up with you, reaching his hand out. “I’m Simon.” You send him a smile. “Y/N.” He smiles. “Ah, and this is my dramatic princess Paisley.” He looks down at her. “Nothing wrong with a little bit of embellishment, gets the attention you need.” You smile down at her. He laughs at this. “Anyways, sorry for waking you, love.” You feel your cheeks warm at his pet name. “No worries, I’m just glad she’s alright.”
“Cmon, back to bed with you.” He nods his head at the dog and she walks with him back to their house. You make your way back to your door, stepping inside. You forget that your friends are there and they stir awake with the sound of your door closing. “Y/N? What are you doing?”
“My neighbors dog got stuck in the fence.”
“Is it okay?”
“Yeah she’s fine. But you were right. He’s hot as fuck.” You laugh. Walking passed them, going back into your room.
It’s been a while since you’ve had a day off, picking up extra shifts and doing more and more work so that you could afford your house. It was getting rough. You didn’t see much of your neighbor, aside from passing. He did always wear a skull mask which you found weird. Until you were up early and seen him leaving one day.
He was wearing full military attire, Paisley had on a vest and he was telling her to get into the back of his truck, that’s when it clicked.
His accent, why he was always gone, his large build, the mask. It all made sense now.
Your next day off, you’re sitting in a coffee shop with your friends and they’re making fun of you. It’s a gathering, an every once in a while coincidence that all of you had the same day off. “So what’s going on with everyone else? I feel like I’ve been talking about myself this entire time.”
“Not much.” Everyone mumbles.
“Oh, Y/N’s neighbor is smoking hot, I’m waiting for her to announce that she has a controversially older boyfriend.”
The girl next to you is loud when she says it, earning an elbow to the side from you. “Ohhhh. Tell us more?”
You roll your eyes. “I’ve talked to him once, his dog got her paw stuck in my fence, there’s nothing weird about that. Although he is very, very attractive.”
“It’s weird, he always wears a skull mask.”
“Oh!” You sit up. “I know why. I saw him leaving the other morning wearing full military gear. That explains the accent and everything.” You laugh.
“Accent?”
“Oh.. I forgot to say that? He’s British.”
Their mouths drop, and you can’t help but blush at your spaced information.
“No way, Y/N. If you don’t have sex with that man right now..” she laughs. “Oh god, I am not ready for that. I just got out of a shitty relationship.” You laugh. “Well.. just out of curiosity.” She sips her from her cup. “Just how much thinking have you done about Wesley since you talked to your neighbor?” She teases. You roll your eyes which makes them all laugh. “See!”
“Christ. You guys are ridiculous. I have to go do yard work.” You roll your eyes.
“Look sexy!” She calls out as you exit the building, your cheeks are on fire.
When you arrive home, you look up at the sky, noticing the brewing storm. Maybe today was a bad day for yard work after all. Just as you make your way inside, the rain starts to come down. You sit down on your couch, deciding to watch a show instead.
You lose track of time. You could hear the rain pouring down outside. Thunder making you jump slightly.
A knock at your door has you whipping around. You stand up, slowly making your way up to your door. You open it slightly, noticing your neighbor. He’s soaking wet. “Uh.. hi. Sorry to bother you so late. I just.. have you seen Paisley?” He asks. “Uh.. no I haven’t. Is something wrong?” You ask, opening the door up wider. “I let her out earlier and she never came back in. I think she ran off.” He sighs. “I’ve been looking everywhere and I can’t find her.”
“Let me put some shoes on, I can help.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” He sighs. “No, she’s a good girl, I wouldn’t want something bad happening to her.” You smile. Once you’ve slid on shoes and a jacket, you’re stepping out into the rain.
Ghost notices your tattered old skate shoes immediately. If you’ve got a boyfriend, why isn’t he taking care of you? Ghost knows he’s seen a guy around.
Behind your houses was a huge patch of trees, that’s where the both of you decide to look first. You’re calling out for her, walking along. You part ways when you get into the trees. Calling out for her. You don’t see anything and it’s getting darker as you walk along.
Ghost is somewhere further away by now, he’s calling for her, but she isn’t coming. He stops with a sigh. “Christ, where the fuck are you, fucking dog.” He growls.
“Simon!” He hears you yell. “Y/N?”
“I found her!” You call to him. He quickly makes his way over to you, seeing you’ve got a hand on her collar. “Ugh, damn dog.” He breathes. “Home now!” He says sternly, Paisley bolts for his house immediately. “Sorry. You didn’t have to come out here.” He laughs. “I don’t mind the rain.” You laugh, walking towards your houses with him. “Not real good shoes for bad weather.” He laughs. “Oh psh these? They’re fine.” You wave your hand. “What, your boyfriend doesn’t spoil you?” He laughs. “Oh god, I don’t have a boyfriend.” You laugh. “What? Who was that guy than?”
“Uh.. well. He WAS my boyfriend. But.. it’s a long story.”
“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” He laughs awkwardly. “Oh it’s fine.”
“I’ve got a fire going in my house, if you wanted to dry your clothes out. You could talk about it if you want.” He shrugs. “Uhh. Sure.” You shrug. You follow him up to his back door, he opens the door up for you. You step inside and he shows you to his living room, where he had a pretty wood stove going. Lined with bricks. “Give me a moment.” His house was really nice. You wait before sitting down, not wanting to get his couch wet. “Here.” He passes you a towel and a shirt. “It’s an old shirt of mine.” He nods. “Thank you.” You smile. It’s Army Green.
He shows you to his bathroom and you change quickly, making your way back to his living room. You notice that he’s put your shoes on the tile in front of the fire to dry them out. You can’t help but smile.
He brings out tea and sets it down on his coffee table, sitting in the chair across from you. You pull his shirt down over your knees, making sure you’re covering yourself. Your panties had gotten wet and you had to take them off too. “Why did you guys break up if you don’t mind me asking?” He asks. “Uhh.” You laugh. “I found out that he was talking to a couple other girls. Meeting up with them and.. yeah.” You look down. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He breathes. You smile, looking up at him. He’s no longer wearing his mask.
“Honestly? I thought it would hurt more.” You shrug. “We.. I mean we’d been together for a long time but our relationship wasn’t serious. I didn’t really have any feelings towards the end, not after all of the things he said to me.” Ghost tilts his head. He’s curious.
“Uh..” you shift awkwardly. “I.. this is probably too much information but.. we never.. slept together. I just wasn’t into it, and he hated that I wasn’t. He said a lot of gross things to me.” You shrug. He nods his head. “How old are you?” He asks. “I’m 20.”
“How old was he?” He asks. “21.”
He smiles. “There’s your problem darling.” He laughs. “He’s just.. stupid and immature. I was at that age too. You’re too young to be worried about all of that anyways.”
You smile. “How old are you?” You ask. “32.” Your eyes widen. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, m’ an old man.” He laughs. “You do not look 32.” You smile. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” He winks.
“You need new shoes.” He nods to them. “Uhhh. Yeah. That has to wait.” You laugh. “Hm?”
“I can barely afford my house, those shoes will just have to do. They’ve done me good.” You smile. You move to stand in front of the fire, crouching to pet Paisley who’s laying in front of it. Ghost stands up too. “How about we check you out, make sure you didn’t get into something.” He breathes, rolling paisley over onto her back. He runs his hands along her fur. Feeling that she’s fine as he stands back up. He towers over you, and now you really feel how close you are to him. “I can help you get new ones.” He nods. “No.. that’s not your job.” You shake your head.
“Course not, you could work for it.” He smiles.
Your eyes widen. “Not- Jesus. Not like that.” He laughs. “Oh good.” You breathe out. “Had me worried for a second.” You laugh. “Got a dirty mind.” he rolls his eyes. “I mean.. if you babysit for me when I’m gone.” He nods. “I usually have her boarded at the base but.. they keep her cooped up a lot there.” He looks down at her. “Simon, I don’t mind watching Paisley. You don’t have to get me anything. She’s a good girl, I don’t mind.” You smile. He nods his head. “Thank you Y/N.” He smiles. “Of course.”
You’re warm from the fire, spinning around to warm your front. He does the same. Looking at the dancing flames through the glass. “Do you have a wife or anything?” You ask. “No.” He laughs. “My job isn’t good for relationships.” You nod your head. “Fair.” He laughs. “Why?” He asks. “I was just curious.” You say nervously. His smile is flirty, and you’re worried.
Not because he intimidates you.
You’re worried by how much you like it.
“You sure?” He looks at you, making you turn your head to look at him. “Mhm.” You smile. He takes a step toward you, making you step back.
Back hitting the wall with a gasp. “Might be overstepping here..” he laughs. “But he was stupid to fumble a girl like you.” He breathes. He’s toying with the shirt you’re wearing. You take in a shaky breath, looking up at him. “Simon.” You start. He tilts your chin to make you look him in the eyes, leaning into you. “Can I kiss you?” He asks. You part your lips, not saying a word. After a second, you nod your head.
He closes the gap right away, kissing you hard.
Your friends were going to freak when you told them.
You feel his fingertips gliding up your thigh and you gasp into his lips as he glides them over your bare opening. “Ah- Simon wait!” You breathe. Pushing him back slightly. “I.. I-“ you’re stuttering, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry, maybe I misunderstood..” he breathes. “No- no it’s not that. I.. I liked it. I just.. I’ve never done this before.” You breath, looking up at him. Your cheeks are burning, because his fingertips touching you is the first time a man has ever touched you like that. And this is only the second time you’ve ever interacted with him. “It’s alright.. I know you haven’t known me long.” He laughs. “No.. I don’t mean..” you clench your eyes closed. “I’ve never had sex before.” You sigh. He raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Oh.. well. I’m sorry I pushed you so hard, I had no idea.” He steps back.
“You didn’t. I.. I liked it.” You swallow hard.
He crosses his arms. “Have you ever been touched.. at all?” He asks. You shake your head. “Have you.. done anything at all? Like.. touched yourself?” You chew on your lip nervously. Shaking your head again. “I’ve tried but.. it’s.. weird.” You bring your hands behind your back. “It’s not weird, not if you’re doing it right.” He looks at you. The room is dark, the lights are dim and the fire illuminates it slightly.
“D-do you think you could show me? W-what it feels like I mean…” You look up at him.
“Yeah, of course. Cmere.” He tilts his head, reaching his hand out for you to take. He walks around his couch, pulling you with him. “Go ahead.” You sit down. “Lay back sweetheart.” He nods. You’re nervous as you lay back. “If you don’t like what I’m doing, if you want me to stop at all, you tell me okay?” He says. “Of course.” You nod.
He pushes the Army Green shirt up over your hips, you’re bare. Wearing nothing underneath.
He glides his hand up your thighs, feeling you shiver as he does. His fingertips gliding over your exposed flesh, rubbing over your opening. When he touches your clit, you flinch away from him. He forgets that you’re untouched.
Sensitive, easily stimulated. He chuckles. “Relax. You’re tense.” He breathes. He moves himself over you, pressing his thigh right up against your opening, hearing a gasp from your lips. He lowers himself on top of you, pressing his lips to yours again. You kiss him sloppily, cheeks flushed, your tummy feels warm as he rocks his thigh into you. You whine into his lips, raising your hips to meet him.
He pulls away from you, kissing your chin and down your neck, pushing the shirt up and over your chest. Exposing every part of you to him. The first man to ever see such sensitive parts of you. He attaches his lips to your nipple, hearing you gasp. You lift your hips into him, wanting more. But he takes his time with you. You’ve never felt this way, never been so turned on before. He finishes showing your nipples attention and moves lower, leaving a trail of kisses down your stomach. You’re nervous as he moves himself between your legs. He looks up at you, leaving a kiss to your thigh. One kiss to your swollen clit and you were done.
You let your head fall back, he pushes his hands up his couch, entwining his fingers with yours as he spreads your folds with his tongue. It takes just a few minutes and you’re crying his name out in the perfect symphony. Your stomach is moving with the way you’re panting and you can barely hold still. He moves his hands away from yours, holding your hips down. Sucking and lapping at your clit, pushing his tongue into you slightly. It’s an unfamiliar feeling. You can feel something building. “S-Simon. Feels funny.” You whimper, lifting yourself up to rest on your elbows. Watching him eat your pussy like it’s the sweetest ice cream he’s ever had.
You feel his fingertips gliding over your entrance, and you gasp when he pushes one inside of you. Curling it right into your spongy spot. You can’t hold yourself together, especially not when he adds another finger, scissoring them. A cry leaves your lips, it’s a desperate moan. Something that tells him that you’re just about to cum. You can’t say anything which is what he wants, he’s cornering you right into pure bliss, leaving you nowhere to go. It feels like your body bursts into flames when he works your pussy to an orgasm. The first of many that he’s going to give you. Your eyes are full of tears and clench shut as he works you through your orgasm. Until you’re sensitive and squirming. He finally pulls away from you, moving himself above you again, kissing you, letting you taste yourself on him. You’re breathing hard when you pull away, looking up at him. Like he’s just killed an army in your honor.
“How do you feel?” He asks. Your lips are parted, you want to say something but you can’t. He chuckles at your trance-like state. “It’s alright. I know it’s a lot.” He smiles, pulling the shirt down to cover you. Pulling you up until you’re sitting up to look at him. “I feel good.” You finally say, cheeks burning. “Good, I hope so.”
Your eyes are lost in him and he says something but you don’t even hear it.
He waves in front of your eyes, chuckling when you flinch away. Shaking yourself out of your thoughts. “You alright, space cadet? I wasn’t too much was I?” He laughs. “No.. no.” You giggle, “sorry.” You blush. “First time is always intense. I get it.” He smiles. Leaning into you. “Can’t wait to see how spacey you’ll be when I fuck that pussy for the first time.”
You swallow hard, eyes clenching shut. You’re quiet.
A laugh is what makes you open your eyes. “I’m only kidding. Relax.” He stands up. “Unless you want me to of course.” He winks at you.
“I know you have work tomorrow, I’m keeping you up.” He laughs. “Let’s get these shoes on you and I’ll walk you home.” He smiles. He kneels down onto one knee, reaching out for one of your shoes. It’s dry and warm.
You’re surprised at first.
He’s actually putting shoes on you, like you’re some kind of princess.
He helps you up, throwing one of his jackets over you and holding your clothes. The storm has passed now, it’s only dark. When you reach your front porch, he passes you your clothes. “I can go change and give you your shirt back.” You stutter when you say. He’s making you nervous. “Don’t worry about it. Keep it. It looks better on you anyways.” He smiles. You blush, looking down. “Thank you, for helping me find Paisley.”
“Of course. I don’t mind at all.” You smile. “Um.. t-thank you for um..”
“You don’t have to thank me for that.” He laughs. “Sorry..” you blush. “It’s alright. Get some sleep.” He smiles.
You smile. “Goodnight Simon.”
“Goodnight Y/N.” He nods. “Oh.. wait. Can I have your phone number? Since you’re willing to watch Paisley for me.” He playing his eagerness off. “Yeah of course.” You smile, walking toward your couch where you had left your phone. You pick it up and walk back to the door where he was waiting, passing it to him. He types his phone number into your phone and sends himself a text with it. “Awesome. Thank you Y/N. Goodnight now.” He smiles.
“Goodnight Simon.”
“You seem to be in a good mood LT.” Soap smiles.
“Something going on at home?” He smirks.
Ghost rolls his eyes. “Not now Soap.” He rolls his eyes.
“Who’s the girl, you’ve been checking your phone every 10 minutes.” He crosses his arms. Ghost sighs. “It’s my neighbor. I asked if she’d watch my dog. Stop being weird.” He shoves passed Soap. “Aw Cmon. I’m your friend.” Soap scoffs. “I tell you everything. I’ve never seen you act this way before.”
Ghost sighs. “Alright fine. Yeah, something happened between us and I don’t know what to think of it. But she’s kind’ve way out of my league.” He mumbles. “What do you mean by that?”
“She’s 20.”
Soaps eyes widen. “Jesus. A tad bit young don’t you think.” Ghost looks at him unimpressed. “She’s been my neighbor for a while, I thought she was older.” He shrugs. Soap laughs. “Nah, women just mature way before men do.” Ghost snorts. “Yeah. Well.. what I did with her last night I can’t really come back from.” He laughs. “Did you sleep with her?” Simon shakes his head. “No.. but. I don’t want to talk about it. Paisley got her paw stuck in her fence a few weeks back and I went out to check on her and she was helping her. Last night, Paisley didn’t come back when I let her out, so I stopped by and asked her if she’d seen her and she said no, but offered to help me look for her.” He shrugs. “So.. if you did stuff with her, why didn’t you have sex with her?” Ghost flinches. “She.. uh.” He laughs nervously. “She’s a Virgin.”
Soap’s eyes are wide. “Christ. You’ve got yourself into quite the situation Ghost.” He laughs. “Yeah. You’ll have to see her.” He mumbles. “Take me with you when you drop Paisley off for a mission sometime.” Soap crosses his arms. Simon laughs. “Alright. If you insist Johnny.”
“I’m good at reading people, I’ll tell you if she’s good for you.”
“She’s not good for me, I haven’t felt like this in forever.” Soap raises his eyebrows, a smug look on his face. “That means she’s good for you. You’re supposed to feel happiness.” He rolls his eyes. Ghost laughs. “It’s bad for a man like me. I’ve lost everyone, makes me vulnerable.” He mumbles. “So don’t lose this one.” Soap pats his shoulder.
Ghost shakes his head. “It’s never been in my control. But.. me being vulnerable, means that I can be very dangerous. So let’s hope this goes alright.”
“You WHAT?” She yells from the other end of the phone, you can hear her coughing violently on her coffee. “Uh.. yeah.”
“Did you have sex?” She asks. “What? No. He just.. he. We didn’t have sex.” You blush. “What’s gotten into you?” She squeals, making you laugh. “I don’t know. I guess I just really like him.” You bite your lip. “Damn. Who would’ve guessed. A 32 year old in the military is your type.” She laughs. “I know right. I don’t know. He’s.. ugh.” You sigh. “I’ve talked to him twice ever, and he’s already been so much fucking nicer to me than Wesley. I just.. don’t even know what to say.” You laugh. “That’s how you’re supposed to be treated Y/N.” She laughs. “Maybe he’ll be really good for you. Maybe you’ll get married and have a bunch of kids.” She snorts. You roll your eyes. “Whatever. I have to get back to work.” You mumble. “We’re not done talking about this. You’re telling me every detail later.” She mumbles through the phone, making you laugh. “We’ll see.” You say before hanging up.
You bite your lip.
You can’t stop thinking about the night before. What he said to you.
“Can’t wait to see how spacey you’ll be when I fuck that pussy for the first time.”
Your stomach turns and you feel yourself getting wet just from the thought of it. You needed to get your mind off of this. You stand up, heading outside to find something to do.
You’re sure you could find some yard work of some kind to do.
You look around your house, noticing the patch of grass by your driveway was mixing with gravel. You head back inside, changing into more comfortable clothes to do this task. Not paying any mind to whos eyes may be on you. Simon was meant to be at work anyways. You get a rake, raking the gravel back into it’s dedicated location. You needed to plant more grass seed, maybe line it with some spare bricks to keep the gravel away from it. It’d keep Paisley away from the fence to avoid getting her paw stuck. Simon really needed to fence his yard in to keep her inside. Although she was a pretty large dog, she’d probably just jump over it. You’re carrying bricks when Simon pulls up, Soap is in his passenger seat. “Is that her?” Soap asks. “Oh.. yeah. I guess so. I thought she was supposed to work today.” He mumbles. “Guess I’ll get to meet her sooner than later.” He smiles. You’ve got your ear buds in, not paying any attention. “We’re just checking on Paisley, get your head out of the gutter.” Ghost mumbles. As soon as Simon opens the door, Paisley bolts to your house. “Oh Jesus Christ, seriously!” He mumbles. Paisley attacking you with kisses, jumping on you catches you off guard.
“Oh my gosh!” You laugh. Turning your face to avoid her sloppy kisses. Simon and Soap approach, and you’re petting Paisley. “Hi darling, I’m glad to see you’re okay after your great escape.” You smile. When you glance up and see Simon walking toward you, another man behind him. “Thought you were supposed to be at work?” Simon asks.
“Ah, a bunch of offices flooded last night in the storm, mine included. So I’ve got a couple weeks off while they renovate.” You smile. “Ah, paid I hope?” He laughs. “Oh yeah. I would be out looking for another job otherwise.” You laugh. “That’s good though, a nice break.”
Ghost looks at Soap. “We just stopped by to check on Paisley. This is Soap by the way.” He nods. You look confused. “Did you say Soap?” You ask, looking at him. Soap laughs. “My name is Johnny, but you can call me Soap.” He nods, reaching his hand out. You take it, shaking his hand. Ghost feels jealousy boiling through him when he touches you. He doesn’t like that. “Civilians don’t get the nickname, Ghost.” Soap judges him. You tilt your head. “Ghost?” You smile, crossing your arms. “Nice. A weird duo but I like it.” You laugh. “I like the Mohawk too, don’t see that haircut much anymore.” You nod. “Thanks.” He smiles. “Oh no, don’t go giving the bloke a big head.” Simon rolls his eyes. “Whatever, I’m gonna go find Paisley. She’s nicer than you.” Soap rolls his eyes. “Nice meeting you, lass.” He smiles. “Nice meeting you too.” You wave.
Simon lingers behind. “Why’re you not relaxing?” He laughs. You blush, looking down. “Can’t sit down for too long or I’ll think about what you said last night.” You laugh. “Ah. That makes sense.” He laughs. “I can give you something else to think about if you want.” He chuckles. “Jesus Christ.” You roll your eyes.
“I think Soap is getting impatient, Ghost.” You call him by his nickname and he freezes up. He laughs. “Don’t call me that. Not unless you’re moaning it.” He turns to walk away from you, hearing you laugh. Mumbling a ‘Jesus’ under your breath.
As he works, training new recruits, helping out anywhere he can, preparing for missions. He thinks about you.
The jealousy he felt earlier with Soap, it worries him. He’s getting too close to you. He knows it. The last time he did this, he got hurt. Irreversible damage to him that he still suffers from. He needs to stay away from you, but he fears it’s too late.
You’re so kind. Naive in a good way almost.
You’re so nice, so sweet. Even Paisley likes you.
He can’t focus on work without thinking about you. Zoning out as he loads everything up. The way that you sounded with his face buried between your thighs, he thinks about how you’ll sound when he-
He groans out in frustration, earning a couple glances. He throws down the wrench he’s holding, cursing under his breath.
Soap and Captain Price exchange a worried glance as he storms off.
Soap can’t help but laugh when he’s gone, the door shut and latched behind him. “Something going on with him?” Captain Price asks. “Yeah, a girl.” He snickers. “Ah. Trouble in paradise?”
“No.” He laughs. “She’s his neighbor and they aren’t.. anything just yet. But I guess he had an encounter with her.” Captain Price nods. “Women. They’ll do that to ya.” He laughs, picking up the box of ammo and walking to the back of the Humvee. “Tell me about it.” Johnny smiles, digging through the box of tools.
Captain Price sets down the box of ammo in the back of the vehicle, swiping his hands off together to get the dust off of them. “Suppose I’ll go talk to ‘im.” Captain Price mutters as he makes his way into the office that Simon had gone into. He opens the door, seeing him sitting at the desk. He’s got a water bottle in front of him and it’s already almost gone. “You alright Simon?” Price sits down in the chair across from him. Hearing Simon sigh. “M’fine Price.” He mumbles. “Johnny told me a bit about your troubles.” He smiles. Ghost rolls his eyes at this. “It’s alright, maybe we can talk about it. Maybe it’ll make you feel better.” He shrugs. “What, is this a therapy session?” He jokes. Earning a snort from his Captain. “I’m serious, I’m a wise old man with a lot of advice.” He smiles, setting his hands in his lap. The dad energy that Price gives off warms Simon’s heart in a way. “I don’t know. She’s my neighbor and she’s a lot younger than me.” He sighs. “I just think I’m going to end up getting myself into something dumb with her.”
“Well.. what’s she like?”
“I.. I mean she’s nice. She lives on her own. She.. said that she just got out of a relationship.” He sighs. “Oh? Did she say why?”
“He cheated on her because she wasn’t ready to… take the next step with him.” Ghost shrugs. “Hm.. do you know anything about her background? How responsible she is?”
Ghost shakes his head. “Not really. I’ve only talked to her twice but the second time.. we were alone and things escalated.” He mumbles. “So.. you had sex?”
“No.” Ghost laughs. “She’s.. a Virgin.”
Captain Price’s eyes widen, and he shifts uncomfortably. “How old did you say she was?” He asks.
“20.”
Captain Price nods his head. “Hm.. well. What does she do in her spare time? Do you know?”
“She.. mostly just works so that she can pay her bills and hangs out with her friends.” He shrugs. “Do you know where she works?” Simon nods. “A bookkeeper for a construction company. She’s worked there since she was eighteen.” He nods.
“So.. she’s got a stable job.. can take care of herself.. she seems really mature.” Price shrugs. “I know it seems weird that she’s so young, but women mature a lot faster than men.” Captain Price nods. “You’re both consenting adults, who are responsible and can take care of yourselves.. I know you’re afraid of being hurt.” Captain Price sits up. “But you’ll never find your forever if you don’t put yourself out there and be vulnerable for others.” He smiles. Simon nods his head. “I know.”
“You’ll have to bring her around, let me judge her myself.” He smiles. Earning a snort from Simon. “Yeah, Johnny said the same thing.”
Price stands up, patting Simon on the shoulder as he goes to exit. “You’ll never know until you try, Simon. Don’t give up just yet.” He nods.
Simon sighs when the door closes behind him. What the hell was he getting himself into.
Later that day, Simon had come home. He didn’t see you and decided to leave everything be for now. Deciding to watch a show and drink a beer. Give himself time to relax, as bad as he wants to spend this time with you. He sighs, hearing Paisley scratching at the door, whining. She’s pacing back and fourth. “It’s probably just a Racoon. Down girl.” He breathes. But she doesn’t calm down. “Paisley, please. Give it a rest darling. I’ve just let you out.” He groans.
Nothing seems to calm her. He stands up, setting his beer down. He makes his way over to the kitchen to discard his empty beer bottles, setting them by his sink. He glances up through his kitchen window for a second, when something catches his attention.
You’re talking to a guy.
Not just any guy either, your ex-boyfriend. Ghost feels himself stiffen up, eyes narrowing as he looks outside the window. It seems as if you’re having a normal conversation with him. Ghost quickly moves to the back door, cracking it open and holding Paisley back as she tries to force her way outside. “Stop, sit.” He growls.
“Look.. I’m sorry okay? I miss you.” He hears him say it. Ghost can feel himself tensing up. "You need to leave. I won't ask you again." You breathe. "And if I don't?" He sighs. "What are you going to do hm? Nobody will come for you. You're just a stupid girl Y/N." He can hear him. He can hear you laugh. "Go." He hears you growl. "I'll tell the neighbor if you don't go." Simon's smile is too wide upon hearing that. "The neighbor? What, are you friends now?" He hears him scoff. "Come on, let's just talk baby, I can take your mind off things for a while."
"Simon!" You yell, Simon stands up immediately, ripping his door open and stepping outside. He can see that he's got a strong grip on your upper arm. When he sees Simon step down the few concrete stairs, he lets go. "Seriously?" He can hear him scoff. "She doesn't need you, go back inside and mind your own fucking business." He growls. Simon makes his way across his lawn, crossing the gravel of your driveway. "She is my business. She is now." He crosses his arms. "And if you want to leave here in one piece, I suggest you get back in your car and drive as far away as you can." He says it casually. "Yeah? Or else what?" He asks, making Simon raise his shirt up over his hip, not only does he expose his insanely fit body and v-line, but there's a pearl gripped pistol sitting in his waistband. A whistle leaves his lips and Paisley bursts out of his house, bolting to stand next to him at attention, staring your ex-boyfriend down. "Go." Simon nods.
He scoffs, shaking his head. "What, you fucking him?" He looks at you, teeth gritted behind his pursed lips, you glance at Simon before looking back to the ground, swallowing hard. "Some virgin huh?" He shakes his head. "This is fucking stupid, don't even know why I bothered with you." He growls. He walks down the concrete path by your door, walking around and climbing into his car, speeding off. "Go home." Simon mumbles to Paisley. "Hey. You okay?" He asks. You nod your head. "Yeah.." You shake your head. "I'm fine. Just.. yeah." You breathe. "Cmon, I'll make you some tea." He tilts his head for you to follow him. You nod your head, following after him. He leads you into his back door, closing it behind you. You notice Paisley laying in her bed in the living room. "I didn't think you'd be able to hear me." You breathe. "Was worried for a second." You laugh nervously. "Paisley was stressed out, kept harassing me. I happened to notice.” He mumbles. “You were listening?” You ask. “Just.. making sure nothing happened. Suppose it’s a good thing I was though.” He reaches up into his cupboard, shirt rising until you could see the Pistol grip.
You’ve never been more sure of anything in your life.
“Simon?” You say, stepping closer to him. “Yeah?” He asks, turning to face you. Once he’s close enough, you lean in, kissing him hard, cupping his cheeks so that he can’t pull away. “W-woah.” He breathes. “Are you okay?” He asks. “Just kiss me.” You pant. He sets everything he has in his hand down, returning his lips to yours and moving you so that he could pin you up against the countertop, feeling you moan into his mouth. He reaches down, grasping the back of your thighs and lifting you up until you’re on the countertop. You rest your hands on the countertop, pushing your hips forward. Like you wanted him.
“What’s gotten into you?” He asks. You pull away, looking at him, reaching forward and raising his shirt up. Getting a good look at his gun. “Nobody’s ever done that for me before.” You look up at him, taking a deep breath. “What? Told some scumbag off?” He laughs. “Defended me.” You breathe. “Seriously? Not ever?” He asks. You shake your head. “Please keep kissing me, Simon.” You whine. He leans into you, kissing you again. Stiffening up when he feels your hand on him through his jeans. He groans into his lips when you palm him hard through them. He pulls away, resting his forehead against yours. “Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?” He breathes. “Yes.” You whine. You sit up, reaching with both of your hands to unbuckle his belt.
He reaches down, hand gripping onto the cool metal of the pistol, setting it down on the countertop. Leaning in to kiss your neck as you pulled his belt apart and started on his jeans. You can’t help but glance at the gun as it sits there. You’re starting to realize just what kind of man Simon is.
A strong military man. A guarded one at that. He’s nice but gruff, quiet and observing. And something you’ve noticed since meeting him, since Paisley got stuck in your fence.
He’s protective of what’s his.
“Simon.” You pant. “What baby?” He breathes.
“I want you.” You breathe. “But.. you.. you’re..” he looks down between the both of you.
“Please, I want you to take my virginity.” You whine. Pushing your hips out. He takes in a deep breath. “Are you sure?” He asks. You nod your head. He pushes his pants down his thighs just enough to reveal himself to you, hearing you sigh when you see the size of him. “S’alright. Will only hurt a minute.” He moves closer to you. He tugs your pants down, discarding them to the side somewhere. Seeing all of you once again. He spits in his hand, focusing it on the tip of his cock. “Are you sure? Once I take it, it’s gone.” He breathes. “I trust you. I want you to take it.” You pant. He pushes your legs open, getting a good look at you. “Just relax for me.” Your heart is racing and he can hear it thumping in your chest from where he stands.
“If you let me do this..” he trails off, circling your opening with his fingers again, going to take his time stretching you out before he takes what’s rightfully his. “You’re mine.” He leans into you. Lips ghosting over your throat, right where your jugular vein sits beneath the surface. “Simon.” You breathe out.
“I think I was always yours.” You look him in the eyes, watching him stiffen at your sentence. Eyes darkening as he stares at you. “Fuck.” He growls, gritting his teeth. He presses the tip of his cock up against your entrance, tip pressing between your sopping wet folds. He forces you to look at him, taking his time thrusting every inch into you. He holds your throat, not cutting off your oxygen but just enough to hold you still. When your eyes flick down to watch him sink into you, he growls. “Look at me.” He growls. “Keep looking at me.”
“Simon.. it hurts.”
“I know baby.” He breathes. “S’alright, just for a minute. One minute.” He pants. You’re so tight on him, he can barely contain himself. He finally closes his eyes, sighing out as he bottoms out inside of you, hearing you cry out. He leans into you, holding you steady as he slides out, rocking his hips into you. “It’s alright. I know it hurts.” He takes in a sharp breath, hating that you hurt so bad, but he felt so fucking good. He keeps a slow, steady pace. Letting you adjust to him. He notices a little bit of blood, but it doesn’t bother him any.
“Simon..” you’re breathless when you say it. “Hm?”
“Fuck me.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I can take it, please.” You hiss, pushing your hips into him.
He wraps his arms around your waist, holding you tight as he rocks his hips into yours faster, a little harder than before. Pushing your legs up as he slides deeper into you, hearing a gasp leave your lips. “Oh my god-“ you breathe.
He keeps up this pace for a few minutes, letting you get used to him. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you.
“How does it feel huh?” He pants, voice unsteady and desperate.
“‘M fucking your pussy.” He hisses, feeling you tighten around him. “Took your virginity.” He breathes. “How’s it feel?” He smiles. “It- it feels so good.” You whine. ”I feel so full Simon.” You hiccup with watery eyes. “Yeah? That’s how you’re supposed to feel. Supposed to feel overwhelmed and good.” He chuckles. He rests his hands on the undersides of your thighs, gripping you and keeping your legs open for him. Smiling when he sees you gripping the countertop like your life depends on it. He lifts his shirt up more, showing off more of his toned stomach.
“Fuck!” You cry, letting your head tilt back. He’s picking up his pace, getting you so close. You can feel swirling in your stomach, feeling something building.
A pant leaves your lips and you move up, trying to adjust yourself. “Simon. Feels weird.” You gasp. He lowers his hand to rub at your sensitive clit.
Just a little bit of that and you’re crying out for him. Clenching hard around him, your pussy milking him for every bit of his spunk.
He’s panting hard, moans unsteady as he approaches his orgasm. He’s going to cum hard.
He slides out of you last second, pumping his cock until he finishes on your stomach, groaning out, his body jerking as he finishes. “Oh fuck..” he whines.
After a moment of coming down from your highs, it finally hits you. You’d really just given this man, who’s way older than you, way more experienced than you, who you aren’t even in a relationship with. Your virginity. You’re staring at him with wide eyes as he cleans your skin of his filth, making sure you’re completely clean, even wiping down between your legs. He wants you to be comfortable. He sighs when he sees your nervous appearance. “It’s alright. I know.” He breathes. “Cmon, let’s go warm up by the fire.” He breathes. Lifting you up and bringing you with him to the couch. He sets you down, throwing a blanket over you.
You’re silent for a while. Not nervous or upset, more content than anything.
Simon is so caring of you, and he barely knows you. Which tells you everything you need to know about him. That he’s going to be the best thing for you. That he’ll take care of you. He finally sits down next to you after starting the fire. Throwing an arm around you so that you could lean into his chest. “I’m sorry if I took advantage of you.” He breathes. Hearing you laugh. “You didn’t. I’m a grown woman, I know what I want.” You smile. “Well.. good.” He smiles. “I just hope you don’t want it to be a one time thing.” You mumble.
“I was wondering the exact same thing.” He breathes.
“I know you just got out of a relationship and all but.. you’re mine.”
You smile up at him. “Always.”
“Oh yes, one more thing.” He mumbles, standing up and disappearing up his stairs for a minute, returning back down holding a box.
“Here.” He smiles. You take it from him, confused. “Simon.. I told you not to get me these.” You look up at him. “Open them.”
You open the box up, noticing a brand new pair of shoes. You can’t even imagine how much they probably costed. “Simon this is way too much.” You laugh. “You need new ones, I can help out. Let’s see how they fit.” He kneels down again.
“You’re doing too much for me already.”
He scoffs. “What I’m doing is the bare minimum. You’re just used to below average darling.” He laughs, tying the laces. You can’t help but smile at this.
“Thank you Simon.” You breathe.
“Always.”
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katiascraft · 2 months ago
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“am I too much for you? maybe I’m too much for everyone” | CL16
parings: Charles Leclerc x insecure!reader
summary: you feel insecure and you’re struggling but Charles makes sure you know how important you are to the world (specially his world).
now playing: “If I weren’t me” by Katherine Li
warnings: not English native speaker could there be errors. None proofread. Talk about sadness and destructive inner talk. Insecure reader. Readers pov’s.
words: +1,5k words.
a/n: heyyyy I am back!!! I disappeared for a year 💀 consistency it’s not my thing I guess. I’m finally finishing university this year!! So I guess I’ll have more time to write. Hope you like it! First on Charles. New obsession: F1 drivers. Get ready I got plenty more on my plans :p. Remember to like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3
MASTERLIST
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The piano tiles made the sound of the soundtrack of my sadness in this moment. My fingers touched them softly like they were fragile - like me.
Today was a nightmare from the start. Since I woke up I had a knot in my stomach that became bigger and bigger as the time passed through my routine. Sometimes itʼs really hard for me to do daily tasks such as cleaning or even eating. And it was harder if I need to go to events or meetings.
I have episodes of deep sadness Iʼve been treating on therapy. Sometimes I just canʼt control it. Today was one of those days where black and grey took over everything I felt and did. One way I found by being suggested by my therapist was writing down every thought of pain to find kind of a relief. Today itʼs really hard. Iʼm struggling really hard.
Iʼve been alone the whole day. Charles had to go to the Ferrari factory and do his driver tasks as usual. When I woke up he was gone. And maybe that contributed even more to my desperate and pathetic situation. Though I shouldnʼt talk about it like that and be more gentle with myself. It always felt to me negativity has always been my best friend and worst enemy at the same time.
Playing piano helped me so much. Write a song about my pain. Try to give a little light to all of this mess I find myself emerged in. Itʼs really hard for me to open up and seek help when I need it. Specially when it comes to Charles. I donʼt wanna be a burden to him. And I donʼt wanna stress him out with all of my dark side. I always try to brush it off when heʼs around. Most times I just pretend Iʼm happy and everything itʼs alright. As if I wasnʼt feeling too much for him. Or too less. Like Iʼm not worth of his love. Of his attention. Of his smiles. Of everything he did for me.
The fact that Charles asked me out had me shocked. Iʼve never felt like I could compete with all the models and influencers and singers and every really beautiful girl in this world. Iʼve never felt beautiful nor attractive. Yes Iʼm pretty good making jokes. And I talk too much. But Iʼve always felt I cringed people out. Dating people wasnʼt a thing I was really good at. Actually I sucked. And I think I still do. Always overthinking and second guessing every move. Every promise. Everything.
Charles was so sweet to me. He said “youʼre beautiful. Iʼm sure people tell you all the time. But you really areˮ. I couldnʼt help but get really nervous and blush. The most beautiful man Iʼve ever seen was talking to me and saying all of that. I blinked a couple of times. My smile huge. I just laughed softly trying to brush it off.
Since then we became a team. Inseparable. Charles became my best friend. My rock. I donʼt know what I ever did to deserve his love. The way he loved me was so gentle. So caring and loving. At first was hard because his love language was physical touch and that was something I wasnʼt used to. But little by little I got used to and felt amazing. Iʼve never felt so comfortable with anyone but him.
I hate my body. I feel ashamed of my personality. Most times I feel so dumb. So stupid.
I didnʼt realized I was already crying when I felt my tears dropping in my hands on the piano. I didnʼt realized I kept playing in auto-mode. When I was conscious again I started crying badly. I started shaking. I felt so bad. So guilty for even feeling this way. I didnʼt realized Charles have arrived home when I felt his deep voice from behind.
“Baby... whatʼs wrong? Youʼve been crying for a whileˮ I heard his voice and that sent shivers down my spine. I try to hold it together because I feel so embarrassed heʼs seeing me like this.
He sat next to me and hugged me. I hid my face on his neck feeling contempt. Thing is I started crying worse. I couldnʼt control it once it took on me.
“Itʼs okay baby. Itʼs okay.ˮ He whispered on my head while he stroke my hair and my arm pulling me closer. I thanked him mentally for this. I never thought I needed it so much.
Took a while until I calmed myself in his body. I part from him slowly and whipped my face with my hands. After I did he did the same. He whipped my tears so gently. He did the same looking me with bright eyes. Worry was all over his face. I licked my lips. “Iʼm sorry.ˮ I said quietly almost a whisper.
He denided with his head taking my head into his hands and stroked it softly.
“donʼt be sorry baby. Iʼm worried. Whatʼs wrong? Iʼm sorry I wasnʼt home to be with you. Why didnʼt you called me?ˮ I could feel the worry in his voice deep and cracking.
“I didnʼt want to bother to be honest. Itʼs one of those days. A really hard dayˮ my tears wanted to go out again but I holded them.
I saw his eyes turned into a sad look. He leaned on me and kissed my cheek to hugged me strongly in his arms afterwards. I buried my head in his shoulder. His smell calmed me down. I holded him pretty close to me. Strongly as him. I didnʼt want to let go.
“do you wanna talk about what you are feeling love?ˮ He whispered softly. I swallowed hard and pulled away from his so I could look into his beautiful eyes. I loved his eyes. So bright so blue sometimes. To me they felt like staring at the ocean. I stroked his face gently. He grabbed my legs on the little couch in front of the piano it our living room.
“This is one of those days where I donʼt feel enough or maybe too much to handle... all of this darkness in me that sometimes I just canʼt control it. You deserve someone confident and happy just like youˮ I told him softly and honestly. And it felt good to take it out of me for finally. I wanted to cry again but I was making my best efforts to keep it together.
“Cher... you are more than enough for me. You are the most beautiful soul Iʼve ever met. The most beautiful woman Iʼve ever seen. You are the sweetest most caring and fun person. Always there for people. You have the brightest personality. Every time you enter a room you shine. Everyone smiles. To me youʼre happiness though I know that isnʼt the whole you. Youʼre human baby. You are allowed to feel. And to not be okay. And to be okay too. You are not a burden for me. Youʼre my best friend. Mon amour. My future wife. The one whoʼs always there for me. My shoulder to cry on. The one with the greatest jokes. The life of every party I assist. You give a meaning to my life. A reason to live. You are a great daughter. The best friend someone could ask for. The greatest sister. You are a light for every single person that knows you y/n. Donʼt ever feel that you are too much to handle. And I really wanna go and kill the people who made you ever feel you were, I sware. You are amazing baby.ˮ While he was talking you couldnʼt hold it together. You just started crying. He let you do it while he whipped your tears lovingly. He seeing you like this broke his heart. You didnʼt deserve to feel like this. And he wished he could take away all of your pain. That you could see yourself the way he sees you. And feel how happy and enamoured you made him feel. “You can talk to me every time you need itˮ he continued. “you can trust me and we can figure it out together. You donʼt have to go through it alone. Okay? I love you with everything I am y/n. If I could I would take all of this pain away and just make you feel how I feel about you. I promise to me youʼre even better than Carlosˮ he said lastly jokingly making me laugh through my crying.
Now he had a huge smile on his face knowing he could make you feel better. I gave him a peck on his lips as a thank you and as an I love you.
“I donʼt know what I would do without you Charles...ˮ I said sincerely and full of love in between the lines. He gave another kiss back but now it was deeper in feelings. We kissed for a while and it felt that as the kiss continued my pain was going away feeling better every second. After the kissed I hugged him tightly. He gave kisses to my neck making me giggle a little. “I love you Charlie. Youʼre my angelˮ I whispered on his shoulder and he tightened the hug in response.
“And you are mine chérie“ he said burying his face on my shoulder.
——————————————————————————————
Charlie won COTA 🥹.
Hope you liked it 💌 if you have ideas my inbox is open for requests!
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itwasntimethatdidit40 · 13 days ago
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So wooo it's been a while since I stepped foot in here, started posting around May (and then took down the first fic because I didn't like it) and I'm really glad I did because writing is the one thing that has really resonated with me my whole life. 
I reached 200 followers at the beginning of November and now I'm 6 from 300, which, again, is crazy! And I have a tag list now, it's unbelievable. Thank you so much to each one of you, I love you.
So I definitely want to give something back to this amazing community.
Starting today I'm going to try to do a monthly post dedicated to all the amazing stories I've read. 
This month will be a list of all the works that have stuck with me since I have been here, unfortunately I will never remember them all because my memory sucks, but I hope I have included most of them.
I am so looking forward to discovering many more authors (my tbr list is so long, so many fics so little time, I really hope to read more over the Christmas holidays) in the coming months and I hope to grow this little space more and more into something safe, friendly and nice for everyone.
(Feel free to add me on discord if you like and you haven't already, I'm always happy to chat and make friends, you can find it in my bio).
Anyway, let's cut to the chase, it's a long list of outstanding work below the cut: 
• The Wolf You Feed - @arcanefox207 Joel Miller x f!reader
Look, I'm so in love with her Joel. He’s hot, he's grumpy but also comforting, he plays guitar, he feels true to character. So precious.
• BDSMaid - @mountainsandmayhem
Basically, my Roman Empire. Everything about this is so damn good and this Joel? Hello? Please marry me? I will never stop screaming about him. Also, yes, it’s an AU but he feels so Joel, you know.
• Do your worst, Little Dove from Little Dove series - @mountainsandmayhem Joel Miller x f!reader
This changed my entire brain, okay. Probably the hottest thing I've ever read and if you're into sub!Joel this is something you should read immediately.
• Never made it as a wise man and following chapters - @almostempty Joel Miller x f!reader
Never laughed so hard for a fic and honestly, after this I learned that Wed could write whatever and I'll worship that.
• He knows - @almostempty
Lucien x f!reader
The way it’s written it’s out of this world, I loved it so much♥️
• Self esteem series - @almostempty
She managed to make me fall in love with fuckboy!Joel, which is remarkable because there’s nothing I hate more in this world than fuckboys, like I despise them with all my heart but I’m still here wanting to kneel in front of him. Damn, Wed, stop doing this to me. (Jk)
• Paris, Texas - @almostempty
Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier Peña
*laugh hysterically* I want to live in this fic. I want to be reader. No, actually I want to be the fourth.
• Unscripted desires - @gothcsz Javier Peña x f!reader
The way Kat writes Javi is something unique, I don't even know how she managed to write so much about him doing a fucking banger every single time. This one was probably the first thing I read written by Kat and I'm not going to forget my first love anytime soon.
• Blackmail - @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier Peña
I read this series in one day and I was so needy when I finished, jeez! Milla is so damn good and she’s an absolute queen at writing dirty talk, it's honestly unbelievable the way she delivers every single time and leave me speechless.
• Her - from 5 days collection - @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader
It’s so dear to my heart (odd to say this about a pegging fic? Probably, but I still stand by what I just said). It was so good that inspired me to write a pegging fic myself and she was so kind about it 🥹 And she was probably the first person engaging with me here and I’m so fucking grateful that she did. Milla, if I have people reading me it’s because you reblogged me and gave me a chance in the first place, I will never forget this.
• Table for Three - Who's your daddy - @aurorawritestoescape Joel Miller x f!reader x Dave York
I read those in my early days here and wow Kate definitely sets a bar in terms of hotness for me. So good. And she’s another person that I cherish so much, thanks for being so supportive and encouraging.
• Keep on your mean side - @aurorawritestoescape and @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader
These two are dead dove queens and this one is simply amazing 10/10 no notes.
• Cherry, Cherry - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader
You have to know something about Adriana, she’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, just a beautiful soul. I’m still in awe of how she managed to write this series with so many characters and such a rich plot, it’s so sweet and comforting but also angsty and so good, I teared up a little bit at the end 🥲
• Daddy can fix it - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader
Handyman Joel lives in my mind rent free and the fact that this one feature a plus size!reader is the cherry on top ♥️ All bodies are beautiful and should be considered worthy of Joel’s love.
• Like a good girl should - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader
WELL. I mean. This one gave me an inexhaustible desire to be spanked sooo yeah. So hot.
• Flesh for fantasy - @syd-djarin Joel Miller x f!reader
I thought about that for days after reading it and it’s still one of my fav things ever, like my brain just exploded, I remember having a conversation with @almostempty about this. The fuck Syd, you just broke my mind.
• Pink - @netherfeildren
Joel Miller x f!reader
One of the first thing ever that I read in this fandom and honestly sets a bar so high I was afraid to start writing anything. The urge, the need that drips from every word, the way the shaving scene is still stuck in my brain. Wow. Just wow.
• Touch Tank - @thundermartini
Javier Peña x f!reader
So beautifully written and soft!Javi made my heart melt ♥️
• Spiaggia, amore e limone - @thundermartini
Javier Peña x f!reader
It sets in Italy, of course I am the biggest fan of this. And not only that, Javi is so cute, smut is so hot, everything in this fic feels like a warm hug.
• Trēs series - @whocaresstillthelouvre
Marcus Acacius x f!reader x Lucius Verus
This is the first time I've ever popped into an author's notes and I'm so fucking proud 🤣 Thank you Mallory, you made my day, my week and my whole month 🥹
Plus, this is so good, think about your fav indulging dessert… it’s this series.
• Fifteen - @whocaresstillthelouvre
Din Djarin x f!reader
So comforting and endearing, I love it so much. Like, she made me read Din. I rarely read Din, enough said.
• Do I move you? - @lemon-nomel
Joel Miller x f!reader
I’m so damn proud of her for finding the courage to finally publish this and I’m also honored that she sent me her draft to read 🥹 She’s the sweetest person ever and stood by my side all these months through hard and happy times. Thank you love, for everything and your writing is amazing♥️
• ma’am - @mssalo
Joel Miller x f!reader
Another sub!Joel I won’t forget anytime soon, wow, so damn beautiful, so hot, perfectly executed. I’m so weak for sub!Joel it’s honestly ridiculous.
• So Cal to North Cal - @lotusbxtch
Frankie Morales x f!reader x Joel Miller
It features two of my fav Pedro boys and it’s honestly so good. Would love to take a trip with them and not only that.
• Guilty pleasure - @for-a-longlongtime
Joel Miller x f!reader
Typical DBF!Joel? No, it’s not! And I loved that, no spoiler but my jaw literally dropped to the floor lol
• To Dig a Grave - @softpascalito
Joel Miller x f!reader
I love this series so much, angsty and sad but also comforting in so many ways.
• Wherever you stray, I’ll follow - @cavillscurls
Joel Miller x f!reader
I think this was my first omegaverse fic and it was incredible, so beautifully written.
• Big fat tally - @toxicanonymity
Joel Miller x f!reader
I will probably never forget Joel in a harness, it’s carved in my brain, thanks Toxi for providing this delicious image to me.
• In the woods - @tonysopranosrobe
Frankie Morales x f!reader x Santiago Garcia x Benny Miller
First sex pollen fic I read and I loved it so much. So desperate, so good.
• How do you sleep? - @thriftedtchotchkes
Joel Miller x f!reader
Honestly so good. Wow.
• each man mad’s desire - @pascalispretty
Marcus Acacius x f!reader
This is so beautiful, it’s like a poem, I still have no words.
• The Real Deal - @strang3lov3
Frankie Morales x f!reader
Oh this one was so damn good, please, this Frankie is perfect. I still yearn to have him.
• Bedridden - @strang3lov3
Joel Miller x f!reader
I’m still laughing, it’s so damn good, well written, funny, sick Joel is unbearable but still the hottest ever.
• Doctor’s pet - @evolnoomym
Dave York x f!reader
Oh this one. I mean I’m a secretary in a clinic, it’s clear I need to work for Doctor Dave.
• Ptolemaea - @lovely-vamp-princess
Joel Miller x f!reader
She just started this and it already feels so original to me, like something I never read before and I’m so curious to see how it unfolds.
• Smooth operator - @penascigarette
Joel Miller x f!reader
Joel calls a sex line and OMG. They’re softer than I thought, so good and funny. Lovely, just lovely.
Happy reading ♥️
168 notes · View notes
usoppsstar · 3 months ago
Text
🍂"Bruised" Poly 141 x f! Reader
S: You hurt your foot and the 141 boys take care of you for the day.
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Pairing: 141 x f!reader
Word count: 2.3k
Tw: injury; Feet; fluff
Notes: poly cod but you all aren't together yet; my first time writing for cod; how do you write a British accent??; this is proofread but there may still be mistakes🍂🍂🍂
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So…” Kyle says slowly as he looks down at you, where you rest on your couch.
“How did this happen again?” He finishes,referring to your elevated leg and the small cotton pad, soaked with witch hazel, resting on your big toe. An hour ago Price got a call from you, asking how to know if you broke a bone, which of course led to all the guys rushing over to your apartment and practically breaking down your door. What they didn't expect was to see you sitting comfortably on your couch, leg propped up on a few pillows, and watching autumn baking tiktoks. The injury they rushed over for was a swollen big toe. You sheepishly scratch at the side of your face before answering.
“I told you. I was in the shower, washing between my toes and my foot slipped off the rail. Next thing you know my toe feels funny and I can't walk on it.” You explain to them again while struggling to stretch your foot, and both Price and Gaz can't help but sigh and shake their heads. How does something like that even happen? Simon walks over and nudges your leg with his own, his arms crossed.
“Don't look all tha’ different ta’ me.” he muses while scanning your foot and you give him an annoyed glare.
“Shut up. It's way bigger than the other. I can't even bend it.” You combat and wince after trying to, making gaz suck his teeth at you for moving it. Johnny makes his way back from the kitchen after helping himself to your chips, and rests his arms over the back of your couch.
“ I don't know hen, haven't they always been this fat?” he teases before getting whopped in the face with a throw pillow. Fall has just started so you have plenty of them. You huff and plop back onto your arm rest, your toe starting to throb from all the stupidity.
“Did you guys come here to bully me or help me out?” You complain. You could take care of yourself if the three stooges just planned on bothering you. Price sighs and nods his head before sitting on the other end of the couch.
“Alright alright, they're done playing. Come here,sweetheart.” He says finally, and you scoot forward a bit to rest your injured foot in his lap. Price gently rotates your ankle to inspect your foot, and the rest of you sit quietly, naturally waiting for your Captain's evaluation. After a short moment John takes another small breath and taps your calf unconcernedly.
“Looks like you've just bruised it against the tub is all. The swelling should go down in about a night or so, nothing to worry about.” He reassures you calmly, and all the men pick up on the barely noticable breath you release. As much as you all play around, they all know how your anxiety can get over the smallest injuries. A small part of your mind can't help but assume the worst when it's not a common ailment. You've gotten better at soothing it since you were younger, but sometimes the thought still crosses your mind. You nod your head calmly.
“Yeah that's what I thought. Just wanted to check.” you sigh softly, and each of them could tell you were relieved. Reading the change in the mood, Soap quickly tickles at your side a little, making you flinch.
“Wow, called us all the way over here for a bruise huh? Looks like someone wanted the princess treatment.” he teases and squishes his face real close to yours, knowing his stubble tickles you. You hold off a laugh and struggle to push his face away from yours.
“No I didn't! And I called Price not you, ya muppet.” you groan as you finally push him away, using one of the words Simon accidentally put you on. Gaz just rolls his eyes at all the bickering and gives your foot another glance.
“Can ya walk on it?” He asks curiously and you shake your head, while Price gets up to take a phone call.
“Nah. It hurts way less than it did in the shower, but I still can't put my weight on it.” You answer honestly at the same time ghost walks over and takes price’s spot, plopping both your legs in his lap.
“Betcha I know how you slipped. Probably lathered yourself in too much of tha’ body wash ya love so much.” He assumes, hitting the nail on the head, and your face starts to burn making you grateful it's not visible. You actually had slipped because you used more gel than usual today. It was only because the water washed away most of it though, so you added more. Which ended up being a mistake, obviously.
“ It was a freak accident, I wash up that way every day and it's never happened before.” You defend yourself and tap at his ribs with your other foot, making him huff a small laugh, letting you know he was probably smirking under his baklava. Kyle just chuckles as he walks past, on his way to get you some ice.
“Don't act as if you don't like when she comes out the Eiffel tower smelling sweet.” He exposes him and lets you take his hand for a second when you grab at it on his way past you. Simon just rolls his eyes while you and Soap laugh. While you all talk, Price finally walks back over and sits on one of your arm chairs.
“Gotcha the day off tomorrow. Can't have ya limping round the base.” he tells you and you smile. That sounded good to you. Walking around on one side of your foot is super tedious, so you'd like to refrain from walking if you could.
“Great, thanks Cap.” You sigh gratefully and swing your legs off of Simon, getting ready to hobble around your kitchen to make dinner.
“ Welp! Thanks for coming to check on me guys, guess I'll be seeing you lat-!” you begin to say before practically each of them start to make a fuss. Johnny gently presses you back onto the couch as Gaz walks back over with a bag of ice cubes.
“Didn't you just say you can't walk?” Kyle says as he crouches down and takes your ankle in his hand. You wince lightly when the freezing cold sensation meets with your hot skin.
“I can walk when I need to. Just not for a long time.” You clarify, trying not to think about how softly gaz is handling your legs and feet. Johnny massages at your shoulders dramatically.
*So we've gotta take care of ya. Can't have our favorite girl limping at home by herself.” He says a little too happily and you roll your eyes with a smile. Price nods in agreement as he gets up and walks towards the door.
“You've got to stay off em hun, if they're gonna get better. We'll take shifts. Ghost you're up first.” he says as he puts on his boots at the door, leaving Simon to hum in agreement. You nod and shrug, fine with that. This wouldn't be the first time Simon has spent the night at your place. Soap yawns loudly and stretches before making his way around the couch.
“I'm gonna head out too Hun. Leaving our sweet Bonnie to you Lt. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.” he says cheekily before looking directly at him and plopping a quick kiss on your lips,knowing it would spur his lieutenant on. You just roll your eyes in embarrassment,and avoid Ghost's gaze, trying not to get too excited about what these little attempts to rile Simon up will mean for you later. Gaz shakes his head with a smile and cuts through the tension by nudging Johnny away and bending towards you.
“Would you two control yourselves?” he scolds, pretending as if he doesn't enjoy this game you all play just as much as the rest of you, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips too. Simon and Johnny watch with heated eyes as the two of you press your lips together, loving the way the brown shades look next to one another. Kyle pulls away casually, leaving your heart to race in your chest.
“Goodnight Hun. I'll be seeing you later” he tells you softly before herding Johnny with him towards the door. You bid the rest of the men goodnight with a sigh, before Simon stands up and heads towards your kitchen.
“Whaddya feel like eating?” he asks while you situate yourself back into your original position and turn your TV show back on. You think about it for a moment.
“ I've got a box of hamburger helper in there, if you can manage that.” You call over your shoulder towards the kitchen. Simon scoffs as he starts a pot of boiling water.
“Course I can handle that.” He grunts, making you laugh. You're about to sink back into your spot when you realize you should probably use the restroom before you get comfortable. Simon looks up from his phone when he sees you limping towards your hallway.
“Oi. Where’re you goin?” He asks with an eyebrow arched under his mask as he rises out of his seat. You pause your hobbling to turn and look at him.
“ I gotta use it. Is that a problem?” You respond with a confused frown, and Simon shakes his head before walking over to you. You yelp when he abruptly plucks you off the ground like a flower, immediately staring into your hallway.
“Simon.” You groan, already bracing yourself for what being cared for by your friends is gonna be like. Ghost just glances down at you.
“You said you can't walk on it right? Looks like I'll have to carry you everywhere.” He says with a poorly concealed smugness to his voice
***
Ghost left before you woke up the next morning, leaving you with a kiss on the forehead, breakfast on the table, and a note saying soap would be by around 12 today. You'd only just finished eating and getting dressed for the day when Johnny finally popped in, a bag full of snacks and movies in his hands. You both spend his shift like that, with your head in his lap, either complaining about a character in a movie or about how your toe feels like someone wrapped it in a too-tight bandaid. Johnny keeps you laughing and keeps you off your feet, cracking jokes about certain characters in a show and running around like a busy bee to get whatever you need. Insists that he massages your legs for you, to improve circulation to your feet he says.
It's around 4 or 5 when Gaz stops by, giving you a sweet kiss and plopping your favorite coffee in your hand and food in your lap, before heading to your room to shower and change out of his clothes. You're full and satisfied by the time he comes out of the bathroom, clean and smelling like the body wash he keeps at your place. You spend your time cuddled together and talking about his day at the barracks. Of course, not with a few sneaky touches and kisses. All the soft kisses and words and caresses definitely keep your mind off your injury.
***
“Hey! I can kind of bend it now!” You cheer to yourself while sitting in your bed in a towel. Kyle left an hour or so ago and you'd just finished your shower without any more accidents( even if it was a little difficult to balance yourself on a foot and a half). You're rubbing coconut oil on your skin when you hear keys unlock your front door. Already knowing who it is, you continue to rub the oil up and down your arms, not jumping to put on something more appropriate like you would've before. There's a knock on your door frame and you look up to see Price leaning against your doorway.
“Hey cap. Rough day?” You greet him, noting the tired look on his face. John just shakes his head before walking inside, stripping himself of his clothes because he knows you won't let him into your bed without doing so.
“Nah, don't you worry about it sweetheart. How's that foot healing up?” he asks as he walks over to your dresser, pulling out a comfortable sweater and a pair of sweats. You try to keep from watching him get dressed, even if it is difficult because he's doing it right in front of you. To occupy yourself, you reach over to your nightstand and grab your new pumpkin-spice body lotion.
“It's doing better. The swelling has gone down.” You report. You're about to squeeze a dollop of lotion on your hand when it's suddenly taken from you. John looks at you before kneeling in front of you and squirting the lotion onto his hands instead.
“You let me take care of tha’ hm? Give me a chance to give her another look over.” he tells you before rubbing his hands together and massaging them up and down your left calf. You sit quietly as your captain pampers you thoroughly, your thoughts swirling as he presses and massages your muscles. Price has moved on to your right leg now, and is gently holding your ankle again.
“Yup, looks like she'll be all better after a few more days. Still shouldn't walk on it though.” He says after giving you a quick once over. You nod as you watch your captain fondly. John looks up when you don't respond and notices your watery eyes. Before he can ask what's wrong, you wipe at your eyes
“Thanks for coming when I called cap. I really appreciate it.” You tell him softly with a shrug, not wanting this to be a big deal. You were just grateful you had support at this new home far from your friends and family. John smiles before pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles.
“Always,love. Anytime.”
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A/n: Guess who effed up her toe because she used to much body wash in the shower?? Just a small little drabble I wrote while keeping off my feet. I'm not all the way healed yet, it's only been two days, but it hurts less! Yay my first cod fic down! Thanks for reading!🍂🍂🍂
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235 notes · View notes
astolfofo · 9 months ago
Note
…I had a thought about the halovians(specifically sunday) and want to know peoples opinions. do u think he has nesting instincts? :3 thank u for listening to my ted talk.
hi (i did say i was gonna answer this 2 weeks ago unfortunately I forgot i'm so sorry.) But anyways, thank you for your ask, and 100% he does.
tw: non-con, forced pregnancy, dark content. truly the unedited sleep deprived trying to write.
Okay i finished writing this i know you didn't ask for acutal writing but i went ahead and did it anyways because why not hope u don't mind
also excuse the fact that thus was posted at 4am and I was half falling asleep already while writing this.
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There were three days in your life that you could have called the worst.
The first one was the day when Sunday took your life away from you, and claimed you to be his "wife". The second was when first time he chose to be intimate. The third was when you got pregnant as a result.
Nothing had ever stuck to you like the day after that. You felt like washing the sheets until your hands would bleed. You wanted to submerge yourself in bleach until every fiber of your body burned, shriveled up, and died.
You wanted to forget that it happened. That the events in the previous night ever happened at all.
But the soreness between your legs was a constant reminder. And even though the pain went away after a few days, it was replaced by something much worse. Something you feared.
You saw the signs from the second you got them. Your body felt heavy. You were constantly tired. You had lost interest in eating. It was obvious what was going on.
And for a few days, you tried to hide it. The longer Sunday didn't know, the better it was for you. That way, you could slowly while away your last few moments in peace before everything was taken from you in entirety.
After a few weeks, you couldn't hide it anymore. You remember staring at the double line on the pregnancy test.
You almost instantly broke down into tears. It wasn't anything that you hadn't already know n, but maybe part of you still just believed you were ill, that maybe there was another reason why you had missed your period that month. That the pain you kept experiencing was just from some kind of illness.
The last thing you could keep away from Sunday was taken away from you that day. The sense of freedom you could've had.
To Sunday, you suppose this was the final step he needed to take to bind you to him. Another way to control you. Another way to keep you in his arms, and make sure you wouldn't let go.
And if you didn't want to get murdered by the press, if you didn't want to further sabotage both your own and Sunday's public image, you knew to take it.
You had no choice but to take it. You were no more than an insect trapped under his thumb.
-
out of the two of you, there was only one person that was particularly enthusiastic about having a child.
It certainly wasn't you.
Ever since you had first found out about the pregnancy, you had felt empty. As if someone directly sucked the soul out of your body.
You weren't yourself anymore. You hadn't been for a long time.
Sunday didn't seem too bothered by it though.
You weren't sure if it was just his own parental instincts, or whether he could tell that it was almost time for you go into labour. Maybe it was a combination of both. You didn't care. You couldn't care less.
All you knew was that his presence was suffocating. Overbearing. Invasive, even.
You couldn't do anything by yourself. Sunday felt the need to assist you with everything you did. Even basic tasks such as grabbing an object, he insisted that he would get for you.
But what set you off the most, was his intense urge to keep the house in order. You had never seen him having such intense urges to organize a room even when just the slightest thing was out of order. He couldn't stand seeing the slightest speck of dust, he couldn't stand seeing the furniture just an inch out of place.
It drove you to madness.
If you had even slightly misplaced something Sunday you would notice Sunday getting slightly agitated.
From the moment he came home, to the moment he would fall asleep, he spent every waking second making sure the house was perfectly in order, before obsessing over you. At some point you just wanted to wave him off. Lock yourself in the bathroom and sleep for a long period of time, until you had no concept of reality anymore.
You didn't have it in you to keep going. week after week, month after month, Sunday's final goal had always to perfect you into an obedient wife that would do as they were told. And no matter how you tried to fight it... you were always forced back into obedience.
There's two cold fingers touching your chin, and lifting your face up, until you're forced to meet a pair of eyes.
They're bright. Everytime you see them, you can't help but try to look away. They were as bright as the sun, and just like the sun, you felt as if you were going to be blinded jfyou looked at them for too long. You guess it could've also been a sentiment to the power he held over you too.
"Dear, did you hear a word I just said?"
It's an obvious answer. But, you know better by now just to answer the question. You slightly shake your head, which supposedly satisfied him enough, to let go of the fi gers holding your head up.
He sighs, you're not sure in annoyance or in disappointment.
"If you keep acting like this, I'm going to need to resort to drastic measures..."
You look at him one more time. You remember how when you first saw him, you thought of him to be beautiful. To be almost ethereal.
You regret falling into that hypnosis. You regret looking at him at all.
Look at where it got you.
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linaliteracy · 2 months ago
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Will it pass? Bangchan x reader.
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Pairing: Bangchan x reader.
Summary: You love Chan, how could you not? He is your best friend. Your problem? You love him too much and cannot stand him near you or your heart will break. college!au
Note: I came back to write some fica because I have been feeling very sad, and writing always makes me feel better, I hope I can keep up with this! Sorry if it has any mistakes. English is not my first language. Leave me suggestion or comments on the ask box!
"Where are you going?" Chan asks, standing up from the sofa where he was sitting, as soon as you grabbed your backpack. 
The guys decided to have a small get-together at Chan and Minho's apartment. It was a Friday night, classes were over, and everyone wanted to socialize and get school out of their system somehow.
You had those plans too, until Chris told everyone that he invited the girl he was hooking up with. You wouldn't have a problem if one of your friends brought a hookup to these meetings, but with Chan, it was different.
He was always different. Since the moment you met him, you knew he was special. He was sitting at the end of the lecture in the classroom and you were partnered up for a project; after that, you knew he would be someone special for you. It took you a year to understand why he would be special, and you would feel the need to be around him and share everything with him. He was the first one you told about your things and thoughts; when you understood why that urge was there, it was a bit late. You realize he didn't see you the same way you did, and the worst part is that he had found someone else. It wasn't official, just a distraction, as he said, but still...
You understood that, but you wanted him close to you. Better a bit of his heart than none of it, right? But at one time it felt masochist to be near him, as you could hear your soul crush.
"Um... I have some things to finish for class," you excuse yourself while picking up your backpack. 
It was a shitty day for you, and you didn't want to see your crush/best friend being lovey-dovey with someone else. He wasn't one on PDA, or you thought, but you didn't want to see if you were right or not.
"But you were happy because you finished all..." Hyunjin said, handing you your jacket that was on the chair he was sitting at.
"Yeah, but I remembered I had some things to do, so I didn't finish all, i guess," you chuckle and start walking to the door.
Felix looks at you, and you smile at him. He leaves the dishes on the table and walks to open the door for you.
"You su-" Chan tries to speak, but you cut him off.
"Yeah, see you all." 
Felix opens the door and follows you, right after letting Chan know he would walk you back to your dorm. You leave the apartments and start walking through the part of campus where everyone was. Felix put his arm around your shoulders and hugged you.
"You are a masochist, you know?" He says while hugging you from the side, putting his arm around your shoulders. "You are a very strong girl, Y/n. If it makes you feel any better, I do not like her either, but... he is our friend."
"Yeah, that sucks," you chuckle. "I can get to the dorm by myself; don't worry."
Felix hugs you and holds you for a while. You knew you had him on your side, and you didn't want to lose any of them. You weren't ready to sacrifice the rest of your friendships just for one crush. You never told him your feelings for Chan directly, but he was very observant of the surroundings and the interactions of the group of friends. 
"If you need to, maybe stop seeing him; no one will blame you, you know?" He said when you moved back from the hug, he still had his arms on your shoulders.
"You think so?" You smiled sadly.
"Are you kidding? The guys really admire you; sometimes we forget you are human; we wouldn't be near the person we like if they were with someone else; youre strong." You smiled weakly, and he ruffled your hair. "Take care, kid. Let me know when you get to the dorm." 
Felix walks back to the apartments and sees Chan waiting for him outside of the complex. Chan looked concerned when he opened the door for him.
"What happened?" Chan asked with concern over his words. "She seemed eager to go."
"She had to finish some things," Felix just said and waved his hand, as if bothing happened, and started walking to the apartment.
"Do you think she left because I invited that girl? Maybe she felt uncomfortable." 
Chan tried to find an answer to why you suddenly left, but no answer was convincing enough for him.
You were so excited to hang out with the guys, and suddenly you remember you had something? You were one of the most organized people he knew, so for you to forget to do something was... odd.
"No, I don't think so." Felix didn't speak much about it, trying to brush it off. He didn't want to betray your trust or make his friend feel bad, for that matter. 
Chan stayed there thinking. He really didn't understand what happened, but he couldn't let it weigh him down. But the look on your face when you left wasn't a look you have when you forget something; it was another thing that was bothering you.
A week passed since he had not seen you on campus; he had asked the guys about you, especially Felix, but he said you were okay and just busy with school. You wanted to avoid Chan at all costs; you were able to tolerate it before, but after you accepted your big fat crush... it went downhill. You didn't want to see him, not ever, but until those feelings were normal. So you were trying to be very subtle about it; if he texted you, you wouldn't open the text until you had decided on how you wanted to answer. 
One day he found you at the café on campus. and went up to you and sat in the chair in front of you.
"Hey, stranger," he let his backpack fall to the ground and smiled, with his elbows on the table. "Haven't seen you in a while."
"Yeah..." You gave a smile. He noticed you looked quite sad and bit down.
"You okay, Y/n?" You nod, but he was not convinced. "You can tell me..."
"Christopher," you look at him. "I'm fine, do not worry." You couldn't do this, so you stood up and excused yourself. "I have a class, so I have to go... see you around," you mumbled and walked away from the café.
Ignoring him was getting harder, being honest with him was harder, and at the same time, you were done; you wanted to get it out of your system. You wanted to confess your feelings to him, but you didn't want to lose him. It was a catch 22, all so complicated.
"Y/n, wait!" The door of the café opened right after you left. Chan was coming after you; he got closer and stopped in front of you. "Why are you going so fast? We haven't seen each other. Is like... like you are... avoiding me?"
You sighed and nodded. He got the memo; now you had to be honest.
"I have; I have been avoiding you." You said and looked up to him.
"Why?" He seemed so confused you just wanted to make up a lie and keep him next to you as a friend... but you couldn't do that to yourself.
"Because I like you and you're about to be dating someone, and I don't want to break my heart anymore."
Silence. Total silence. It was like any surrounding noise stopped, the wind didn't make a sound, the birds were quiet, and the people had stopped talking.
"What?" He looked so confused. You just nodded and shurg. "You like me?" He asked again, and you nodded again.
He stood quiet for a while when he spoke again.
"And you dont want to see me because you like me?" He asked as you nodded. 
You couldn't speak much, but you didn't want to hurt him... You looked at your hands and spoke softly:
"It has nothing to do with you. You haven't done anything bad."
"But shouldn't you want to be near me? If you like someone, you want to be close to them." He said it as a matter of fact.
He was correct, but... you sighed, so you spoke a bit louder than before, so he would understand your point.
"When they are single, yes. And youre not... youre in something with someone else. and I don't want to see you fall in love with someone else in front of me," you admit.
"But we are friends...
"We are, but I can't just look at you as a friend anymore, and I feel physically sick when I see you with her, so it's best if we keep a distance... I will do that.
"Its unfair..."
Your soul fell to your feet and felt like you were freezing.
"What you mean?" You questioned.
"I don't want to lose you; you're my friend, and I need you... but I don't."
"I... can't be a good friend for you now, Chris." You said. "You deserve the best, and right now I am not at my best, not for you, at least.
"Will it stop? Like... your crush?
You looked at him with wide eyes. How could you control that?
"Maybe, maybe not... I can't be-" 
"But, can I still count on you?" He asked urgently.
"You... um... you can't; I am not reliable for you right now, Chan." You smile sadly. You were going to give him a hug, but you just nodded and left. "I need to go. Have a good day."
And like that, you confessed to him, and you let your closest friend know how you felt about him. And like that, you lost him, but you were oddly calm; you knew it was the best for the both of you; you just didn't know how long it would take for you to understand that. 
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luveline · 2 years ago
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Eddie and Roan taking care of R when she gets sick?
thank you for your request! dad!eddie and his daughter roan taking care of almost stepmom!reader <3
"Still nauseous?" 
You look up from your makeshift den on the bathroom floor to Eddie's tall figure standing in front of you. He has the mouth of an open water bottle hanging between his fingertips at his hip, and a hopeful look on his ridiculously pretty face.
“You look nice,” you say. 
Eddie sits down on the floor beside you. It’s not every day he comes home smelling like diesel, but he had today, and the smell had turned your stomach unexpectedly. You worry he’ll still smell like it and try not to breathe in, despite his immediate shower after your first… eruption. 
“You always look nice,” he says, pressing the water bottle into your hand. 
He doesn’t have to ask you to drink. You take a bigger sip than you should, then another, swishing water around your mouth as your eyebrows pull together. 
“Not true,” you say as you swallow. 
“It is true.” He rubs down your cheek with the pad of his thumb. It’s not overly fond or anything, he’s just close enough and loves you enough that touching you is second nature. 
“I’m a fucking idiot.”
“No you’re not. And what does that have to do with looks?”
You’re close enough and love him enough that you know he won’t care if you hug him, despite your sick smell and puffy face. You ease your head over his shoulder and your arms around his waist, eyes wet but not crying. Life is full of a thousand different cause and effects but all you can feel right now is the abject unhappiness of having thrown up. It sucks. 
“Shouldn’t have eaten off of that food truck,” you mumble into his shoulder. 
You can feel the solidness of his arms against your upper back as he squeezes you lightly. 
“You’re not the first person to make that mistake,” he says. 
You feel sick, and you feel like an idiot, and your feelings are taking precedence now that your actions aren’t your own — you have no control over being sick, you can’t will your neck to stop aching from the strain. But you can take selfish comfort in the way Eddie’s shirt smells, relieved that the stick of diesel is gone. 
“You’re not an idiot. You’re just unwell, baby,” he says. You love how he says baby; it rolls off the tongue with his light-hearted tone. “You feel gross ‘cause you projectiled.”
You squirm in his arms. “Yikes.”
“Are you gonna throw up again?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Let’s get up. Go sit downstairs… away from the smell.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You can’t be sorry for throwing up. It’s like saying sorry for going number two.”
You snort. Roan’s not even in the room and he’s talking like a dad. “Wayne said you used to curse like a sailor ‘n’ now you won’t say crap?”
“I was the fucking worst,” he says, laughing before he’s finished at his overused joke. “But I learned my lesson when she started saying fuck at the park when the swings were taken.”
Eddie doesn’t need to help you downstairs, but he grabs a chunk of your shirt like that’ll stop you from splatting if you trip. Roan’s music becomes clearer with every step, until you reach the bottom, and the cassette mix Eddie made for her last week is crystal clear, along with her excited singing. She’s listening to Footloose, and she’s dancing around the living room with Teddy the pink rabbit. He’s missing one ear, has been since you met them, and you don’t have to wonder why. He’s swinging from her pale fist by the remaining ear at force.
“You’re back!” she cheers when she sees you. She stops spinning and, clearly dizzy, stumbles a few steps in your general direction. 
“You’re gonna make your brains mush,” Eddie says. 
“Like potatoes,” she agrees. “Is it time for Swan Princess?”
“Yes! It’s absolutely time for Swan Princess. But dinner, Ro, sorry dinner’s late. Are you super hungry?” Eddie asks. 
You make your way through a maze on the floor of dolls, dress up shoes and Lego bricks. Every toy she could pull out of her toy chest has been pulled. You barely flinch as you step on a pair of doll’s sunglasses, used to bric a brac by now. 
“Not super hungry. Me and Teddy had those ants on logs.”
“Yeah, babe, but that’s not dinner, that was just a snack,” Eddie says, arms held out to offer Roan a lift. She steps into his reach. He pulls her up to his chest. “We are practising listening to our body, right? What’s tummy saying?”
“Tummy is saying we should have macaroni and double cheese.”
“Do we have any cheese?” Eddie asks you. Roan’s princess dress today is much too small for her, a turquoise mass of satin that you’ve watched her grow out of over time. “Sorry, I should know.”
“We should probably break up,” you say agreeably. How dare he not know if there’s any cheese in the fridge. “I think there’s a huge chunk of it by the butter on the top shelf, but check the best before.”
“We’ll check,” Eddie says. 
They leave, supposedly to check the best before and make dinner, and you stretch out on the couch feeling fragile and sorry for yourself, as is your right. Everybody gets sick, there’s no point in punishing yourself for it, but you can’t help that slither of self-hatred every time you think of that gross food truck. Food trucks are amazingly convenient and mostly delicious, and usually don’t turn out so badly for you, but when you saw that guy in the front coughing into his hands you probably should’ve turned around and walked away. 
He wasn’t cooking, you argue with yourself. 
But he was in the truck. 
“Bah,” you say, pulling Roan’s small heart-patterned throw blanket over your lap. You’d been hot as a furnace when you got home, but now you’ve thrown up you’re wracked with chills.
Who goes to culinary related work with a sick bug? you lament. 
Roan races in with a bottle of water in her hands. “I brought this for you,” she says, stopping at your knees. Her skirt tickles your calves. 
“Hey, thanks,” you say, clearing your throat. “Dad find the cheese?”
“Yeah, he’s chopping it.” She relinquishes her hold on the water, takes a step back, and then takes a step forward. “Do you want a kiss?”
“I think a kiss might be a bad idea. I don't know if I’m sick because the food wasn’t cooked right or if it’s a bug.” You frown at her. “Thank you anyways, princess.”
“What kind of bug?” she asks with a wrinkled nose. There’s a dawning horror in her small eyes. 
“Not that kind. A germ. When people don’t wash their hands,” you explain. 
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Best not get too close to me.”
Roan looks at you steadily. She squares her shoulders, turns her face to the side to suck in a big breath, and then throws her arms across your thighs. She squeezes you rather roughly considering her child-appropriate level of strength, and then dives backward like she’s going to burst. 
“I love you, I’m going back to the kitchen!” she announces, short of breath. 
You end up dozing off uncomfortably on the couch to the sounds of Roan’s cassette, the TV, Eddie’s unintelligible rambling and the sound of a wooden spoon scratching the bottom of a saucepan. It’s a credit to you how you’ve learned to sleep through most anything, even sick as a dog. 
You’re woken up by a hand on your shoulder later. Eddie’s perched on the arm of the couch, looking down at you with plain pity. “Poor baby,” he says, only half making fun as he kisses your forehead. “Made you some toast.”
“I can’t eat.”
“It’ll make you feel better. Probably.” He puts a plate in your lap. He hasn’t gone overboard, it’s one slice of white bread with a scraping of butter. 
“Sorry for making a mess,” you say. You pick up a triangle of toast hesitantly. “Defeated by a three dollar burrito. It’s sad.”
“So sad,” he says. 
Eddie’s hand climbs to the nape of your neck. He traces your hairline messily with the tips of his fingers. 
“Did you eat?” you ask, nibbling your toast. 
“We did. We saved you some. I don’t know if you’ll want it, but Ro insisted.”
“Where is she?”
“She’s trying to decide which one of her plushies to give you tonight. In case you can’t sleep.”
You lean back against the couch cushions with a small smile. “That’s really nice. You made a good one, Munson.”
He puts his hand back on your shoulder, leaning in to give you a quick squeeze. The toast is toast, nothing special. It certainly doesn’t make you magically better but it doesn’t make you feel any worse, either, so you finish most of it and delight in your reward — Eddie noses your temple, his breath hot on your face as he says, “I’ve had help... Don’t worry, sweetheart. You’ll feel better soon.”
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vidavalor · 2 months ago
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I've had to disconnect from my dash because of all the negativity; I honestly do not get why people are acting like a semblance of justice+a movie is the worst thing in the world?
I'm mourning for the full six-episode season we lost because ng couldn't pass the utmost basic sub-zero bar for not acting like scum and of course I wish amazon had kicked him out and then sprung for it anyway (and honestly, as long as you're blaming the right person, I think it's fine to feel upset? We deserved better, the cast and crew deserved, Terry deserved better, and this one guy ruins it for everyone because the bar was buried six feet deep beneath the ground and he still managed to go lower, and that does suck, and it is miserable and unfair, so take a moment if you need it 🤷‍♀️) but let's face it, we got off lucky. Arguably, considering this was a standalone novel from the nineties, that then got made, in one of the best book adaptations I've ever seen, into a limited standalone tv miniseries (and, again, emphasising the standalone here, so even if it all goes to hell in a handbasket, we'll still always have S1 and the book; people have been ignoring the Jurassic Park sequels for nearly three decades), and then got a surprise sequel, we were pretty lucky the whole way through.
And regarding the whole what if it's bad thing, I was always going to be worried: I was anxious long before this shit went down, and I was anxious before S2 and even S1, as well. It's not like we ever had any guarantee it was going to be good beforehand either, and at this point, knowing what we do now, I'm not at all sure I'd have trusted ng to write this anyways. So while, yeah sure, I'm maybe a little more anxious now, I trust Michael and David with these characters and I trust Rob and Rhianna with Terry's legacy and story and that they wouldn't have fought so hard for this ending unless they planned to keep fighting and thought they could pull it off. Isn't the problem with this kind of thing normally that what happnes is the creator who cares deeply about the work gets pulled in favour of someone out-of-touch who cares not a jot about the story and needs to leave their own grubby fingerprints all over it? More the other way around here, no?
Anyway, what I also wanted to say was that I really appreciated your 'think of it as the final two episodes of season two' (and all your takes on this situation so far, very level-headed and optimistic, thank you). I mean, you're right, and it's hardly wildly out-there for a series to finish on a feature-length special, and although the filler material in S2 and the compression of S3 maybe means it doesn't exactly resemble what the second book would have been, it was only ever meant to be two books. (Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed S2 and was very glad to get it, even though I am a book/S1 fan and also had the most fun in that time fandom pre/post/around the time of the S1 release, but why does it exist? Ego? You can't tell me you couldn't have fit the important parts of S2 into one season with the S3 plotline.)
Basically, I'm grieving the could-have-beens (imagine if he'd been exposed way earlier and the TP estate had had control of this whole production from the very start!) and I'm a little worried that that hurt'll stick around no matter how good S3 is - which I need to fix, because that's more power over my favourite show and what it means to me that I want to give anyone, let alone someone like that - but at the end of day, I do think it definitely can be done with what we have, and I'm choosing to be hopeful it'll be done well, because, well, why wouldn't I?
(I will say this hasn't been great for my faith in humanity, because I really want to believe not all men are shit and some of them are making it very difficult right now, but that's an entirely different problem and so far believing most people are mostly good has always prevailed in the end so. y'know. we'll get there. might reread discworld, that's always good for that.)
Sorry for venting all this at you! I just kinda felt the need to write it all down once to get it off my chest... have a snack on me? I'm partial to cherry tomatoes, green melon and mandarines at the moment (I stop eating salads in winter, which means I default to eating even more fruit) but I can also offer homemade baked goodies fresh from this morning? 🥧
Hi there. 💕 You are welcome to vent away & thank you for the delicious-sounding snacks and kind words. I'm glad my posts on the movie boosted your spirits about it. I agree with and can relate to almost everything that you said here so assume that anything that I don't address just has a 'yes, absolutely' nod happening. 🙂‍↕️
The one thing I want to touch on here is S2 and this idea of it being "filler" that you mentioned that I think might not be quite accurate. I think you (and anyone else who reads this) might feel more enthused about the idea of a good ending in 90 minutes after reading this so hopefully this'll be another way that I can help?
On why S2 is really the whole story and actually had a lot more going on in every way than S1...
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Ok, I'm going to explain something that drives writers like myself bonkers 😂 and that is how some readers or viewers of fictional stories mix up plot and story.
Nothing grinds our gears than reading things like "filler" and "unnecessary subplots" because, while everyone is within their rights to have an opinion on written works, 95% of the time, the person who says phrases like this isn't talking about the quality of the work but of its very existence. They're saying "why did we have to read/watch this? it didn't connect to anything" and that's where they are very, very, very... argh, just tell them, Crowley...
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...thank you, dear. Right, so, why is it wrong?
Because what many people who don't write don't understand about subplots and more character-driven story arcs is that the writers sat down and decided to do that stuff for very, very specific story reasons. Readers and viewers mistake plot for story. Plot only exists in service of story and, so, all plots exist for a purpose in the story. They're all relevant. In fact, the stuff people usually label as "filler" in a story is really exactly where they should be looking to figure out what the story is saying. If you're big mad about all this time you spent with Maggie and Nina in S2, I'd say you might not still understand what S2 was about because you won't understand Aziraphale's story without understanding both Maggie and Nina's struggles in S2, for example.
A story is the whole, overall thing. It's the meanings, themes, and messages in the work. It's what's being said. It's the ideas being put forth by the piece. It's what it's about. It's different from plot, which is just the stuff the writers are making the characters do or not do in order to tell the story that they are looking to tell. Story is the art; plot is a tool used to make that art. Fiction writers can come at their story from almost anywhere to convey what it is that they are trying to say so there is meaning in the fact that they are choosing to tell their stories the way that they are telling them. They came up with these ideas for reasons.
When you dismiss stuff as filler, you're saying that it's lesser than more in-your-face and bigger plots (when, often, it's very much not), and you're telling a writer how they should have written their own story-- most of the time, without even fully seeing the ending of that story or giving any consideration to why it is that the writer wanted you to read or watch the stuff you're saying wasn't necessary. I'm not arguing that every story is perfect but you aren't getting anywhere near close to being able to evaluate a story if you're not willing to dive into what you were given and consider why it was that you were given those things and what they might mean.
Until the main question that you're asking about every single aspect of a story is "what is this saying?", you're not really fully engaging with a work. You won't get there by dismissing what the artists are telling you is important.
The secret sauce to interpreting fiction are subplots, actually. They exist to help highlight the themes of the main story, often in a slightly more direct way. If you want to understand Good Omens, starting with Ineffable Bureaucracy is actually one of the best ways to get at the core of the themes of the story. It's far from wasted time in the story.
There's actually a funny nod to the importance of subplots in 1941 when Aziraphale references Sophocles, the playwright who basically created the concept of the supporting character whose story mirrors and parallels the main character(s). The mention of Sophocles shows up in S2, the season that brings Gabriel more fully into his purpose as exactly that.
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The reason why S2's plot is centered around the honestly pretty easily solvable mystery as to what's happened to Gabriel is because Gabriel, from the get-go, has been the entire story distilled down.
If you follow nothing but Ineffable Bureaucracy in Good Omens, you're going to be closer to getting what it's about and where it's going and what its end game is than you are if you are dismissing it as wasted time when we only have few episodes left. If you haven't yet seen the secret wisdom in Jim-- not to mention understand that Jim and Gabriel are the same person-- then you're probably wigging out more about the movie.
You likely think that S2 was wasted on stuff like Gabriel, or Maggie and Nina's romance, when they should have been getting to Armageddon and The Second Coming already!
You haven't yet noticed that Armageddon has more than one meaning in the series.
It's not always the literal destruction of Earth but also a person's own life crisis. We are all worlds of our own and those worlds can be put at risk if we don't let others in and take care of ourselves and those around us.
When you realize this, you can start to see that S1 goes hard with a freight train of plot all over the place that is related to Armageddon in a more Biblical, apocalyptic sense while it establishes its universe for us but that, once we know how it all works, we can get something like S2... a time where we can step back and start using Armageddon in the more figurative way that the story is also presenting it.
We need to because the story isn't about Heaven or Hell-- it's about being a person. S2 is emphasizing the deeper aspects of the themes and rolling that out at a pace more in line with a person having a few days of inner crisis. When you see that Aziraphale's crisis is the point then you can see how S1 can be about The Four Horsepeople riding to the end of the world and S2 can show War (inner conflict), Pollution (mental health issues), and Famine (symptoms of the other two; lack of food and pleasure and connection; self-starvation and self-denial) as a mental health crisis.
The point is that if you're thinking these characters need to come together to overthrow Heaven and Hell and get to the South Downs Cottage and there's no time slajdflkfwjlkejlje!?!?, then you aren't realizing that not every revolution involves guns and bombs.
People all over the world can start a love train that's far more effective. You might think a subplot about The Hellhound and The Ginger Cat learning to play nice and that they have a fuckton in common and should maybe bury the hatchet and just become eternal bffs already is filler but Crowley and Gabriel aligning is set up for the end game. It's strength in numbers and finding peace and family. They can't overthrow Heaven/Hell without help and Gabriel is the Supreme Archangel. They literally will never have a South Downs Cottage ending without a plot that helped Crowley and Aziraphale see that Gabriel and Beez are on their side.
This is the revolution in Good Omens:
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It will take all the characters coming together to overthrow Heaven/Hell and set up something new for us to get a happy ending and we absolutely will. S2 is Gabriel-centric because Gabriel is the key to all of the characters getting a peaceful ending and because he's a split-directly-down-the-middle mirror of both Crowley and Aziraphale. In a season that is more about Aziraphale's inner Armageddon than about an external threat, Gabriel is vital to telling that story. The plot of S2 is every bit as important to the story as S1. I'd argue that it's even more important because takes the time to go at the themes in a slower, deeper way. It needs to because it's a story of a fall that sets up for a story in S3 of a recovery from one.
Good Omens is the absolute perfect combination of a show that is both very, very detail-oriented and full of depth while also being, secretly, an incredibly simple story. I do not mean simple in a negative way but in a chef's kiss sort of way. Simple in a tight and elegant sort of way. This is something that I think some people might not see when they're theorizing but it's something to keep in mind ahead of the movie. Not just because the movie is shorter-- this would have been relevant if we were having a longer S3, too.
Good Omens has a very engaged fan base that looks for the details, yes. *raises hand* I'm one of them lol. And there will be plenty to pour over in the movie, but... the big thing to keep in mind is that your theory needs to be something that is simple, that can be explained in under a handful of scenes, tops, and that is focused on where Aziraphale's story arc is going above anything and everything else.
If you're beginning with time loops and the birth of a new antichrist baby, I'm telling you from ages of experience reading and writing stories, you're going to be way off. If you are over here composing theories of the story that you are arguing are correct and this theory involves, idk... *makes something up* Crowley is really Elvis and Elvis is really The Bentley and when a rainbow hits Whickber Street at exactly 4 minutes into the new season, Satan will be revealed to really be Jesus, I think maybe you might be missing the point of the details that the show has given already. Like the plot, these details exist to reinforce the themes of the story. Story beats everything else-- it's what this is all about.
And what Good Omens is about? Is best summed up by Michael Sheen, in this single sentence that I really, really agree with and have paraphrased more than once in posts:
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Good Omens is about the business of living. It's about the human experience, which is the experience of being a person. Everything related to Heaven and Hell and good and evil and Armageddon and supernatural things is plot that only exists to highlight a story about the complexities of being a person.
The supernatural is human and the human is supernatural.
That is what Good Omens is about.
While Crowley and Aziraphale are built as two halves of a whole and are both main characters, Aziraphale is the main character from a technical, story perspective, because he is the character whose story arc is driving both the plot and story forward. He's heading for a happy ending with Crowley in the South Downs by the end of the film. If you're making theories, start with what kind of plot would truly get him there and still fit with all of the themes of the story.
This 'it's about being a person' business is why if you look at S2 as filler and not as a season that is exploring the continuing themes on a deeper level, you're still worried about things like there being no time in a movie to show the story of a new antichrist kid being born or how they're going to fit the whole Second Coming into the movie. You don't yet see that Aziraphale parallels Adam and that being an antichrist is basically just being a person and that Aziraphale is presently the antichrist in the story. There is no antichrist child yet to be born. They won't be cutting it because it's not the story.
Armageddon since S2 has been Aziraphale's own personal one and the story from the end of S2 on is now how, if all the other characters can't come together to help him, it could also trigger Armageddon of the S1, Earth-destroying kind. It's tying a more literal Armageddon into a more figurative one. Because this story is about being a person so Armageddon is just metaphorical for going through a mental health crisis and shutting people out.
This story's themes include that every person matters and we all have to let others in and look out for one another. That there's strength in numbers. That found family and adopted family is as much family as biological family-- often, even more so. That labelling and categorizing people is bullshit and you should always open the cover and read the first sentences of people and help people whose stories begin with the same letters find one another. That it might be surprising who has things in common. It's about all of Heaven and Hell versus all of humanity, in the sense that ideas of being a perfect angel or being seen as an evil demon are concepts felt by human beings that get in the way of peace and healthy, happy living, but that fighting them is a common, human struggle, regardless of from where you come.
If you are too focused on the religious plot being the center of the film, you haven't yet seen the meaning of why the end of S1 was an eleven year old kid saving the world by telling off the bio-dad that was never there for him. You might be one of the people who thought this a silly, anti-climatic ending to that story, and don't yet realize that this is the entire story in a nutshell.
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Adam can only reject Satan and keep the darkness at bay because he is surrounded-- here, literally-- by a family that supports him. He has good people for parents and was lucky enough to grow up with resources that all kids in this world should have. He has an absolutely terrific group of friends. He has this witch lady and her boyfriend and these two gay uncles that just showed up out of nowhere 😂 and his human incarnate self has what it needs to make it through this crisis, in this moment, even if he'll probably have others throughout his life, just like all of us. He's not evil incarnate and he doesn't have to be perfect-- he's just a person.
Aziraphale tells Adam this but struggles to see himself in the same way. That's what S2 is about.
S2 is about that other kid who, like Adam, breaks the season down into a single line of dialogue, David Tennant's apparent favorite from the season:
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Jemimah knows who she is and she is happy to claim ownership over her art and contributions to the world. She's living her life with excitement and enthusiasm in a way that gets more complicated as we become traumatized adults. Crowley and Aziraphale struggle with this. They have been making a life together on Earth for thousands of years and each struggle, in their own ways, to truly accept that they are people who are allowed to have a life because they struggle to accept that they are people, just like everyone else.
Their story is about getting to a better place with that. That's really all Good Omens fundamentally is. That's why their ending is going to be to go live in a little cottage together that isn't a business that covers up an angelic embassy that covers up a secret love den. It's just their house-- theirs together for the life they're going to live openly together.
If you want some peace with the film, I'd advise throwing over your theories about The Second Coming and Armageddon needing to happen and antichrist kids and how Jesus fits into everything. Jesus in Good Omens is Crowley romancing Aziraphale at the crucifixion and Aziraphale using what Jesus said to Crowley to reject temptation as invitation to fuck him. I thought Jesus in a single scene or less was the most likely thing for S3 and the same holds for the movie. It's not the story. The only time The Second Coming is mentioned in S2 is by the villain and, to get there, Earth would have to first be destroyed. It won't be.
If the story is about being a messy human walking the Earth and we're in the end game now, then the story is about Aziraphale and only Aziraphale. Everything-- everything-- will be in service of Aziraphale's story arc. We already had just a few episodes with S3 and we now have even less time but the way this is going is still the same. The story is Aziraphale's fall and the other characters coming together to challenge Heaven to keep Aziraphale from eternity in Hell. That's how Armageddon is stopped this time around-- overthrowing Heaven with Aziraphale's fate as the motivation to take on The Metatron. It's nothing to do with Jesus. It's everything to do with Aziraphale.
When you see that, you can see how feasible that is in 90 minutes, with plenty of time for things like 1941, Part 3 and other flashbacks.
I think, when all is said and done, you might wind up appreciating S2 more after the film but you can get there already if you start looking at it less as meaningless fluff and start asking why it is that we were shown this story, in this way, and what that can tell us about the story we're watching.
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kazumiwrites-fanfiction · 1 year ago
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Not-So-Secret Drawings
REQUEST: Hi there, so I've been daydreaming about this for awhile but I absolutely suck at writing so, could i request hcs were the reader is really good at drawing and has been secretly drawing random people on campus whenever they get the chance, but one day reader forgets there sketch pad somewhere and a character (of your choosing) finds it and decides to snoop and finds drawingsof them and people on campus. Just as they finish looking through reader comes (after realizing they forgot it). I hope this makes sense to you, have a nice day/night.
SUMMARY: Your carefully hidden secret is out now. WORD COUNT: 1k
WARNINGS: Riddle, Azul, Floyd, and Vil snooping looking through your drawings, reader is a really good artist, Riddle threatens you (out of love I swear), Azul is uncomfortable by your drawings (not in a bad way- I think), mentions of getting lectured by Azul, Floyd is a ball of chaos, Vil gets no warnings because he's perfect/j A/N: When I tell you that as soon as I saw this I immediately rushed to write two parts before having to stop because I needed to do my summer homework - and then procrastinated the last part (Vil)- Also I know you implied one character but since I'm indecisive I did multiple haha (I'm sorry (but also kind of not because this was fun)) I'm sure you don't suck at writing!! You just get sick of your own writing because it all seems predictable (speaking from experience, I read my work and I'm like "ew?? I need better words" haha) Vil's part is definitely weird because I was like "Fashion Designer!Reader" (probably because some of my friends take fashion/design classes) and I don't know how accurate this is I suck at drawing so I know nothing please don't come at me- Also on a side note, I have a lot of requests right now and since I have a lot of schoolwork I have to do right now, my writing will probably be scattered. Hope you guys understand! (Hope you have a nice day/afternoon/night/etc too!!)
© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.
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You had always been careful with your drawings. You never wanted another person to look at them. After all, you had been drawing other people - and who knew what they would think?
Sure, they were pretty accurate, but still. It wasn't like the people at Night Raven College knew that you were drawing them. And you didn't want your drawings to get destroyed just because someone in a foul mood found them. Just your luck though, as you had left your sketchbook somewhere. Where did you even misplace it…
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Riddle Rosehearts
He had always seen you with your sketchbook, but had assumed it was just for studying.
Likewise, when it popped up during class, he assumed that you were diligently taking notes.
It was almost sad seeing how far from the truth he was in hindsight.
Since he found your sketchbook on the floor (perhaps having fallen from your bag - it was always full, after all), he decided to take it to you. On the way over to Ramshackle Dorm, he flipped through the sketchbook before he paused.
These weren't notes. They were drawings.
And very good ones, at that.
They were so detailed, he thought for an instant that you had magicked them on here somehow (before remembering that you didn't have any magic).
So was this what you could do with some time and diligence?
His mother had never let him draw much so his drawings were mediocore at best (at worst, one would think that a small child had drawn them).
He found himself captivated by the artwork, flipping through the pages, seeing the drawings of various people from the school. Even some of himself…? With more details... It was odd, the small flutter in his chest. Happiness?
He jolted as he heard your voice, asking if that sketchbook in his hands was yours, abruptly slamming the sketchbook shut as if he had been looking at something completely inappropriate. Which, in a way, he might have been?
"Sorry for looking at these without your permission." He got out after a moment, handing it back to you. "You're a really good artist." He paused. "But you shouldn't be drawing in class. If I catch you with this sketchbook out during Trein-sensei's lectures, I'll have your head!"
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Azul Ashengrotto
Of course Azul had noticed your drawings. He needed to in order to make sure he knew as much as possible about others so he could scam help them whenever they needed it.
Still, he found it intriguing, so he couldn't help but skim through your drawings. And my, were they amazing.
Until he got to the section where you had drawn him.
Sure, there were drawings of him in regular uniform, some of him in his P.E. uniform (he thought that they weren't really flattering on him, but you made it look good).
But then there were the sections where you had drawn him in mer form.
Of course, you had no idea what his mer form actually looked like (without all the overblotting, which you never got the chance to see clearly anyway) so it was mostly guesswork and using your imagination.
There were ones with long, large tentacles swarming around him.
Some with tentacles that were slender.
Some of them popped out of weird angles, which he was puzzled about, but okay.
My tentacles can't move like that - or can they?
They definitely shouldn't be popping out of his ribs. Wherever did you get that particular idea? It made him uncomfortable just by looking at it.
He was so caught up in examining your drawings and he didn't notice you until you literally snatched the sketchbook from his hands, saying something about how they were private.
"Sorry, [Y/N]-san... But these drawings aren't too accurate, you know."
And that was how you got roped into a three-hour long discussion about the anatomy of octopuses as well as the anatomy of merfolk and how your drawings were terribly inaccurate. (You were just guessing, how were you supposed to know any of this?)
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Floyd Leech
Floyd wouldn't even wait until the sketchbook was unattended.
He'd pop out of nowhere, eyes bright, asking what you were doing.
Never mind if it was in the middle of class or not.
You've both gotten scolded about this, he should know better.
Still, one day he caught you by surprise, and the book slipped from your hands.
You muttered a small curse before trying to grab it, but whoops, too late. Floyd had already gotten it and was flipping through the pages.
"Aww, Koebi-chan, you drew me?" His gaze met yours, a wide grin on his face (showing his extremely sharp teeth). "You should've just asked, I would've modeled and stuff for you."
You shook your head slightly. You had wanted to keep this a secret if possible... At least Floyd seemed to be in a fairly good mood. You told him that you wanted to draw people in their natural state, without them posing for the "camera," so to speak.
He looked disappointed, but then immediately asked if you could come to a basketball practice or match or something. Perhaps you'd find it more interesting to draw him there. Or maybe in the ocean?
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Vil Schoenheit
He was no stranger to people drawing him. He was famous after all.
He did sometimes get… odd pieces of artwork, but that was to be expected.
Still, he didn't expect to find a sketchbook with him in it, abandoned at an empty seat. Only drawings of him.
It had so happened that you were trying to figure out a good design for clothing. You always wanted to have a face to your designs, and he was the perfect subject.
Maybe your drawings didn't do him justice, but it was interesting to see how you could tweak your designs to fit him better.
Still, Vil was plenty impressed.
These designs... He could definitely see himself wearing them.
Maybe he could show them to one of the people he knew... They could help make something like that. With your permission, of course.
He closed the book as he heard you come up.
"These designs really are fascinating. Would you mind showing me more details? I'm certain that we can turn these drawings into reality if you'd like it."
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anthonys237thfreckle · 5 months ago
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‘Let You Break My Heart Again’ - Javier ‘Javi’ x Kate Carter & F! reader (angst songfic)
I WAS LISTENING TO LAUFEY ON REPEAT AND REMINDED OF MY HIGH SCHOOL LOVE TRIANGLE SO WHY NOT WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT!!! HERE YOU GO!
part two
prompt: your heart belonged to javi, but his belonged to kate.
TW: unrequited love, angst, crying, swearing, mentions of death, suicidal thoughts (happens thrice), loss of appetite more than once, breakdowns, mention of throwing up.
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Feeling kind of sick tonight
All I've had is coffee and leftover pie..
Today was just the worst. Shitty day at work, your in-charge was being a sweetheart to everyone except you, it’s like the whole world was playing a cruel joke on you today.
With no will to eat, you mindlessly looked in your fridge, the cool air and cool glow hitting your skin. Your eyes skimmed through something to hopefully make your feel better, and your eyes landed on a small glass Tupperware.
Peach cobbler pie.
You sighed, taking it out of the fridge and setting it on the counter, brewing some black coffee. The paperwork you had been procrastinating on started to pile up, and you had some weather reports due tomorrow. You needed the bitter drug, the pie there to balance the taste with its tender sweetness.
You were tender once; you were sweet once…
It’s no wonder why…
Life became hard and bitter once you moved away.
Well, did you have a reason to stay?
After that EF5, after holding onto Kate in that underpass for dear life, making sure she didn’t get sucked into that twister, Javi found you two and called the cops to help you both out.
Thing is, you always knew Javi had a thing for Kate. Even when she was dating Jeb, you saw the way he looked at her, the same way you’d look at him. And Kate didn’t ignore those looks of his, nor did she not notice them…
Ooh, still you take up all my mind…
You almost confided in Addy or Praveen about your feelings. You loved Javier. Ever since you both got super close in college. Ever since he’d always treat you like a good friend would. You ran on this high, you chased to be in his line of sight, craved his attention… You were soft, you were tender, you were sweet. You wanted to be it all, for him.
I don't even think that you care like I do
You were known as the ‘ray of sunshine’ or the ‘sweetheart’ in your friend group because you were just so nice. Mostly in the hopes of wooing Javier whenever you could. Make him think what it would be like to date you. Part of you loved to see his smile, loved the ‘thank you’s he’d give you, collecting them like shiny rocks. You usually found them on your morning walks, giving one to Javi whenever you thought he’d like them. But he just put them in his bag and forgot about them a few days later.
I should stop, heaven knows I've tried…
Days in college were spent fantasizing about him; about the way his arms would feel around you. He rarely hugged you. 3 times, to be exact - on his birthday, the day you both passed your finals, and when he found you were okay after the EF5. You couldn’t help but want to call him, text him, but what would you say?
And if he really wanted to talk to you, why didn’t he already? It’s been 5 years since you both have exchanged a word. 5 years since you two have seen each other’s faces. you had changed since college, no doubt. your hair was different; layered. Your style changed a little bit too, you wore makeup to work, in the hopes of being treated differently. You looked prettier with makeup on, anyways. Just a little highlighter, mascara, blush… nothing too overboard. Part of you dolled yourself up in the hopes of running into Javi in the streets somehow.
‘I should stop’ you thought to yourself as you got ready one day for work. You stared at your reflection, not knowing what you were looking for. Sighing, you finished up your makeup, surrendering to beautification, heading off to work.
“Someone’s here for you in the conference room” a co-worker told you. You gave them a confused look, walking to the conference room, to meet a familiar mop of curly hair - a lot shorter now, and the man you loved in a suit. Javier Rivera.
Of course he convinced you to come back to chasing storms. Of course he said it’ll be almost like the old times. Of course Kate was coming too.
You wanted to say no, you wanted to say you couldn’t, but he came all the way to look for you; once tender and sweet. The prospect of someone looking for you was something you dreamed of since you were an angsty teen. The prospect of someone caring about you enough to come back…
At least you tried to decline.
One day, I will stop falling in love with you
Some day, someone will like me like I like you…
The drive to Oklahoma was meant to be awkward. It meant to be tense. It meant to be hard on Javi. To make him feel bad. For you to act all pouty and mean just because you could. Just so you could if not tell, show him how hurt you were when he just disappeared.
But when he started to smile, crack jokes, retell stories, you couldn’t help but be nice in return. The rushing feelings came back, and for a moment, you forgot about Kate. You forgot about life being bitter and hard. All you remembered was being sweet and tender, because with Javi, it was familiar. It was natural. It felt like home.
Every soft look from Javi made you fall harder for him. To be treated like he once did to you. Friends. Best friends.
You both drove to Oklahoma, which wasn’t too far exactly, and he offered if you wanted to go out for dinner with him and Kate.
You wanted to be hard and bitter again.
As you and Javi went into a local diner near a motel, you both saw Kate sitting in a booth, waving to you. Or so you thought - she was looking Javi in the eye, who had a grin on his face. He sat in the booth with Kate, opposite to you. They both smiled at each other, and you wanted to be swallowed by the same EF5 your friends left in, because maybe, just maybe, Javi would have cared more about you if you were dead.
Until then, I'll drink my coffee, eat my pie
Pretend that we are more than friends…
“… just some coffee and peach cobbler pie, please” you flashed the waiter a warm, tired smile. You didn’t look at Javi or Kate, rather traced the wooden table, stared out the window, faked a yawn, bounced your leg.. of course they didn’t say anything to you. They had their little side conversation.
As your face was turned a 90 degree angle from the two, from the corner of your eye, you saw Kate squeeze Javi’s bicep. You downed a mouthful of coffee, coughing after. Javi handed you a tissue, not sparing you a glance as he laughed at something Kate said.
Suddenly you have no appetite.
Then, of course, I'll let you break my heart again
You put your head down on the table, Kate glanced at the mop of hair on the table
“Hey, you doin’ okay?” she asked softly, Javi looked at you for the first time during dinner.
“Do you feel sick?” He asked brows knitting in concern.
You shot up, rubbing your eyes. “Yeah, this coffee made me feel sick.” Javi looked at your basically untouched pie, but empty cup of coffee, and back into your rosy eyes.
“Get some rest, yeah?” Kate suggested. Javi nodded. You sighed.
“Yeah, okay. Goodnight, you two” you rubbed your face, giving them a small wave. They both smiled softly, waving back.
As you reached the exit, you looked over your shoulder as much as you didn’t want to, and saw the two smiling and laughing again.
With a heavy heart, you checked into your motel, took a sip of water to calm your body down, and with one glance in the mirror, you broke down; crying yourself to sleep, with tears staining your face and your pillows, the land of rest took you in for the night.
I'm just tryna understand what I am to you
More than songs, we've exchanged
Midnight calls, sunset views
Over the next few days, you spent them chasing with Storm Par. Of couse Javi went with Kate. She had more genius than you did, apparently, even though you two were both equally smart.
Javi talked to you that morning, his charming grin greeting you along with the early morning sun.
“Dandy weather, yeah?” he nudged you, trying to get you to cheer up. You rewarded his efforts with a small, half hearted smile.
You both had a pretty genuine chat, just like in college, until Kate joined you two. Then again, you were invisible. And the tension between the two was as strong as a supercell. You were obviously hurt, because your time in college was so much… richer. Late at night after curfew, you two would sneak out because you two were the only ones up for that kinda stuff. You’d go to the roof, stay up there talking all night then watch the sunrise together. Now, the only one he orbited was Kate, Kate, Kate.
Then, it was time to chase.
You paired up with Scott instead, being a little emotionless that day, and gave him a respectful nod of acknowledgement. The chase was silent apart from the orders coming from the radio. No conversation was initiated - you didn’t wanna have another breakdown.
For the first chase, which failed because Kate had a PTSD attack, you saw Javi comfort her after they got back to the motel; The sky was now dark, every storm chaser had a bonfire up, the atmosphere was enough to heal Kate alone, but of course, Javi was there for her too.
Your heart clenched. You remembered how hard you cried last night, almost suffocating against the sheets many times. The room was dull, taunting, and the only thing who could have helped you in that moment was Javi. But why would he see your pain and not Kate’s first?
You all gathered around the bonfire - the Storm Par crew, some other group called the Tornado Wranglers, some local chasers and what not. You saw the tall, orange fire. It looked inviting. Your breathing stilled, your body relaxed, your mind wandered.
You were disassociating, looking at everything from the 3rd person POV, the chasers in a circle around the fire, Kate and Javi next to each other a few seats away from you, talking like normal. You kept saying Javi’s name, yelling it, screaming it, but no matter what you did, he didn’t even spare you a glance. So you looked behind, turning around, and saw the fire. Without a second glance at him, without thinking, you walked into the warm, welcoming flames, feeling it consume you, swallow you whole-
At the sound of everyone toasting to more twisters, you snapped out of your little morbid daydream. Looking over at Javi and Kate, you saw her leaning against his side, his arm around her waist, smiles on their faces. Kate whispered something into Javi’s ear, and he looked down at her with a grin. She cupped his cheek, your eyes stung, he leaned in, capturing her lips in a soft, romantic, kiss.
Promise I don't mean to cry
But I get overwhelmed and confused
If only you knew what I felt like
Your eyes stung, your bile rose in your throat, your lungs felt like they were collapsing and you wanted nothing more than to be disoriented, sedated, dead.
Breathing hard, you fled for the fields. Knocking over one of Javi’s beer bottles by accident, you speed walked, then ran to the backside of the motel, where there was a patch of grass. The surroundings were dark, the crickets seemed to taunt you, and your head was spinning. You needed more air than you could take in, your head had a dull, throbbing pain in it, you wanted to throw up, purge those feelings onto the soft grass.
You cried, covering your face and cried. Hard. Your whole body was stiff.
He kissed her
He kissed her. Oh he kissed her, he kissed her, he kissed her.
You didn’t even hear the footsteps behind you. You didn’t even register Javi running after you to check in on you.
“God damnit, are you okay? What’s wrong?!” He panicked, not touching you, though he knew you loved physical touch.
Why would he, anyway? He had a girlfriend-
Kate Carter.
“Leave… me a-alone” you wheezed, hiding your face, curling into a ball onto the dirt.
“Please” you begged, “I-I can’t be down here, I need to go ho-home” you cried “it- it’s a family emergency.” you lied through your teeth. Of course he wouldn’t question it. He didn’t care enough to even look at you. Why would he question a pretty good reason?
Javi looked at you, his face concerned. He nodded.
“I- Okay, alright. Take care, (Y/N)” he said softly. Genuinely.
It took all your willpower not to launch yourself into his arms. But the thought that Kate had been in them more often than you did sickened you.
One day, I will stop falling in love with you
Some day, someone will like me like I like you
So you ran through the fields, ran until your lungs burned, until you were going to faint, running on nothing but peach cobbler pie and coffee since almost 24 hours ago.
Your legs gave out, and your hands embraced the ground below, seeking comfort from Mother Nature which nobody could give you. Your body was folded and like a wounded animal, you let out guttural, gut wrenching sobs. You wanted to unsee it, to pour Javi’s beer over your eyes, to gouge them out for their sockets.
“Make it stop” you sobbed, choking on your saliva. “Please, make it stop” you prayed to the heavens above and the spirits below. You needed this to stop. The pain, the jealousy, the love to stop.
You fell asleep there in the field, Your breathing ragged, yet eventually even. You mumbled, whimpered, cried in your sleep. Seeing Javi kiss Kate. Seeing Javi hug Kate. Seeing Javi move in with Kate. Seeing Javi say ‘I love you’ to Kate, and Kate saying ‘I love you’ back. It was all Javi and Kate, Javi and Kate, Javi and Kate…
It wasn’t until one of the Wranglers found you that you woke up.
“Hey, it’s the girl from Storm Par!” The blonde man said to himself. You stirred, groaning.
“Tyler Owens?” you blinked your eyes open, he offered you a hand, which you ignored and got up.
“What’re you doin’ out here in the fields?” He asked, chewing some wheat between his teeth.
You hesitated. “Long story, but if you can drive me to the train station, I think we have enough time to go over it.” you asked with a pleading look. “Please, Tyler, one favour”
Tyler sighed, giving up “Sure. That’s what friends are for”. You smiled, thanking him.
Then you both disappeared off to the train station at 6:35 in the morning, where Tyler was so kind to lend you a ride. You went over the whole story, since college to now. 5 years worth of internalized drama, not sparing a single detail; He nodded along, gave his animated reactions, gave his input and advice where necessary. And soon enough, you were at the train station.
“Thanks for the ride, Tyler.” you thanked again, genuinely “and dont tell anyone about this” you said seriously, referring to the situation you described.
“Scout’s honour” He gave you his flashy smile “Take care out there, cowgirl” he chuckled. You nodded and smiled, grabbing your bag.
“You too”
Until then, I'll drink my coffee, eat my pie
Pretend that we are more than friends
Then, of course, I'll let you break my heart again
Back at home, you delved back into work, relieved to be away from the new couple. Life was bitter and hard, accompanied by your peach cobbler pie; you never really got over Javi and Kate, you just tried forgetting about them. Whenever you read a romance book or watched some rom-com, you imagined the couples to be you and Javi. Sometimes, you’d dream of you and Javi together, as a couple.
But as you dreamed of this, a few states away, Kate was living your wished reality.
taglist!!:
@urbexbat
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romancefranaticstay · 9 months ago
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TᑌTOᖇ ᗰE
Category: ♥ Fluff, smut ♥
Teacher!Seungmin x fem!reade!student
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Another day, another time, it sucked. You were a student at the university of Seoul. You were doing great at almost every subject you choosed, exspect... math.
You didn't even know why math was one of your subjects. You never choosed it. You even sended a mail, but you couldn't change now. So you had to survive it this year. Your worst nightmare, you worst fear, *math*.
Your teacher didn't had time to tutor you, so he asked another math-teacher to help you. Today was the day to meet him, after school.
The entire day went very slowly, but atleast your friends were comique so it wasn't to boring. Your teachers were always gossiping about every student. And then they dare to say that we are horrible?! How?
After school you had to stay in your classroom. You were waiting and playing with your pencils. When he wasn't here yet for the past 5 minutes, you decided to walk around the classroom. Just walking and staring at the walls.
Suddenly the door opened and you saw an interesting man walking inside.
'Miss... I/N Y/N?" his eyes widened when he saw you. You were very beautifull, he could not deny.
'Yes, that is me, i am here for you tutoring lessons.'
'You can seat yourself next to me.'
You walked over and seated yourself. The chair hurted your butt, but that does every chair in this university.
'Could you tell me what you don't understand?'
'Everything.'
'Everything is much.'
'Yeah i don't know much about math.'
He started with chapter six, because thats the most important chapter. His voice was very soft and it made you relaxed. You could quit understand a bit, but it was very difficult, because maybe this would sound weird... he was extremely hot. You could call him 'smexy'.
You were staring a bit to him. Not really focusing on this theorie of this chapter. His lips were cute, his nose also, but his eyes. You just could stare in them forever.
He saw you watching his face. He actually didn't mind it. You snapped out of you deep-stare.
'I am sorry, i was just wandering into my thoughts, mine apologies.'
'It is okay, this part is not very important.'
He was actually only supposed to teach you for 1 hour, but he taught you for 2 hours. You didn't watch the clock, you loved each other's presence. He could explain everything so well, his voice was so beautiful. For him, 2 hours feels like 10 minutes. Its beautiful; hands turned the page.
Suddenly your alarm went off, and everything was a little disrupted. Seungmin looked at his watch.
'Oops, it's already 8pm, my apologies. I'll give you some papers to work on at home. You have lessons from me every day, so finish these papers by tomorrow if possible.'
'That's probably possible, depending on what tasks I still have to complete from my other teachers. Thank you for this lesson.'
you stood up and started packing everything up.
'I'll see you again tomorrow. Have a nice day!'
He watched you leave the classroom. He never noticed what a beautiful figure you have. He had already seen you walking around, but of course he had never spoken to you. Of course he had never spoken to you before, you are a student and he is a teacher. It is not forbidden, but it is frowned upon. Still, some girls flirted with him, sometimes tried to touch him themselves, but always avoided them. If you flirted with him, he wouldn't avoid it. But you weren't really that romantic, you read a lot of novels, but even when you were little you realized that not everything in the books could be fulfilled.
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You and your teacher started to grow a little closer together. You could say that you two formed a friendly bond. Sometimes you got jealous when some girls tried to twist Seungmin around their fingers. But yes, Seungmin also got jealous when boys came to you. You were very beautiful and intelligent, so boys took their chance, even sometimes girls tried to take their chance with you. You didn't always notice that. Your eyes were actually only focused on Seungmin.
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You sat in your class and you followed the reading. You sometimes overheard some conversations that were happening in front of you. You were learning about Korean Culture when you suddenly heard Seungmin's name in front of you.
"He's so handsome, could he be that good in bed?" two girls giggled.
You straightened your back and started to lean a little closer.
"He could play with me."
You looked at them as if they were crazy. Seungmin isn't that type of guy. What are they thinking, talking about him like that, aren't they ashamed? Your brow furrowed as you heard their multiple conversations. Deep inside you were burning with jealousy, so many girls wanted to have him. So many girls, some were so beautiful in your eyes. You started to focus on your classes again, but what if... what if Seungmin enjoys all that attention? What if he likes one of those many girls? What if he's... a spicy teacher... if you know what I mean? No, that's not possible, no, Seungmin a spicy teacher? Maybe...
You were walking around the square with one of your friends, just chatting about boys and also the new Arcade. You went through the main hall when you saw a group of girls surrounding Seungmin. They all asked him questions and if he could tutor them. They gave him cookies and so much attention. It made you angry, even though there is absolutely nothing between you and Seungmin. He saw you looking from a distance, he saw anger in your eyes. He turned away from all the girls and came towards you. Why is he coming towards me, you thought. You panicked a bit, he looked so good today. His sleeves were rolled up, his blouse was very tight, his buttons could pop off at any moment. You looked in all directions, your girlfriend looked at you strangely, as if you were a mad dog. You dragged her with you to the girls' toilets.
Seungmin tried to speak to you but it was already too late. Of course he wasn't allowed in the girls' toilets.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lately you started to distance yourself from him. He didn't understand why. He tried to have a conversation with you outside of school, but you avoided him every time. The tutoring sessions were also filled with a kind of tension and not good tension. Sometimes he tried to sit close to you, just to give you some comfort.
He wanted to ask you about it, but he didn't want to bother you with all those questions. At some point he had enough, because he cared about you a lot. He wanted to love you and he would do anything to fix it.
Tutoring was over, and you started packing your things. You wanted to go to the door, but suddenly he blocked you.
“I can't take it anymore Y/N. What did I do wrong? Did I hurt your feelings? Did I accidentally hurt you?'
'What are you talking about?'
"Lately I feel like you're trying to avoid me, have I done something?"
You were quiet. You looked at the ground.
'No nothing.'
He lifted your chin with his index finger.
'Do not lie to me. You can tell me.' '
No, I can't do that.'
'Why not?'
“It's not your fault, it's just…”
you took a deep breath
“all the girls are hanging around you. Flirting with you and for some strange reason it makes me jealous and an-'
he interrupted you by kissing you on the lips. His tongue slid through your mouth. He placed his hand on the back of your head. You opened your mouth wide, giving him all the access. He slid his tongue out of your mouth.
"Does that answer?"
'Don't know.' you teased.
"Maybe you should be a little more clear?"
"Of course princess."
He brought you in for another kiss. This time he held your cheeks with both hands. He stroked it with his thumbs. He made you step back until you bumped into his desk. He opened your legs with his knee. From your mouth his tongue went to your neck. He started licking it like a puppy. You whined softly. You heard him laugh against your neck. His fingers slid into your underwear. He slid between your folds, which were very wet. 'Wet for me? I love that.' He began to gently caress your clit while still sucking on your neck.
You started to position yourself on his desk. He pulled your panties down so he could get a good view. You could see through his pants that he was already hard. You took off his belt and pulled his pants down enough so you could take out his member. He groaned when you started to gently pump his dick. Just to make sure it was hard enough. He positioned himself at your entrance, he began to quietly nestle himself into you.
He held you tight as he slowly started pumping into you. You felt safe with him, his warmth. You heard his heart beat faster. He whispered soft words into your ears, which actually made you more excited. The fact that he was only your tutor two months ago.
His rhythm quickened, so did his breath, his hands felt every part of your body, his hair got wet, his body sweaty, and this all happened in a boring classroom. Your legs were shaking with excitement. Your arms clung to his neck. Everything was perfect, even if you did it on his desk.
"I *kiss* love you so *kiss much, baby."
You brought your two heads closer together.
'You are my soulmate. You are my soul, ohh *kiss* Seungmin, *kiss* what would I do without *kiss* you?'
He kissed you with passion, he kissed you like it was the end, he made sure you knew how much he loved you.
When you both came, he still held you tightly. He looked at you and caressed your cheek.
'That I could love you, as I did just now, is what you call happiness.' 'I feel happy with you.'
Your lips met again, and you devoured each other. You couldn't keep your hands off each other. Everything was perfect at this moment, the atmosphere, the sounds and the one person who could make it all happen: Seungmin.
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tinyidle · 1 year ago
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Hii!
I was wondering if your requests we’re still opened and if so, could you please write a smut with Mingi X Fem.reader where you give him a blowjob while he’s driving and he gotta pull up in a parking lot cause he wants you so bad.
Thank you in advance and love your work!
Have a good day! 🥰
Make It Worse - SMG
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𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: you have a mouth problem. you can't really help that you never fully stopped teething, and it helps with regulating emotions. and you can't help that your boyfriend only makes your slightly strange addiction even worse.
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𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴/𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: mingi x fem!reader
𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: slice of life; fluff; smut
𝘈𝘜/𝘛𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰: established relationship; car sex after a movie date
𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 3.15k words
𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: some angst, hand kink, slight brattiness from reader, nipple play, oral fixation, fellatio, fingering, cunnilingus, tons of saliva, cum eating and cum in general, overstimulation, insatiability (on both ends), slight exhibitisionism, slightly awkward positions, unprotected sex (know what you're doing), b!gd!ck mingi, risky sex in every way combined, all fiction ofc ofc
𝘙𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨: M for mature
𝘈/𝘕: thank you very much for liking my things! this made my creative gears turn, i just had to do it now or id never do it. also, i hope all your days are grand too <3 and yes, requests are open, albeit me responding to them once in a blue moon lol. 2nd submission to @wonderlandnet
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we all have that one odd thing we did growing up-- collecting random objects, fiddling with hair or clothing pieces, smelling certain things. what you had, however, was something you had as a child that grew into an explicable thing: you like having fingers in your mouth.
sucking your thumb was a common thing growing up that you eventually grew out of, but after becoming sexually active, it became less of a subconscious thing you do and now more of a need from your partner. at first, whenever you'd bring up your habit, it would turn of some and turn on others a bit too much, making your relationships last extremely short.
this lasted for a good while until you met your current partner, mingi. you prepared for the worst from the moment you told him about your "unsettling habit" to some, but to him, it was nothing. he just simply shrugged his shoulders as if you told him that you just finished off season one of one piece.
"really?" you asked, shocked that he seemed so nonchalant. "you're not weirded out." let out a chuckle, mingi leaned to you and gave you a chaste peck on the cheek, "it's more normal than you think. and if anyone makes you feel otherwise, fuck 'em."
you would smile from then on, always relaying that time in your head when you would feel ashamed for feeling the need to suck on your thumb due to high stress, or excitedly nibble on the tips of your fingers when a funny bit showed up in one of your favorite movies. mingi made you feel safe despite your habit, and for that you could never let go of him.
and he honestly couldn't let go of you either. when months turned to year, and you became more comfortable around him (and he with you), he would be flattered by how you shared your habit with him. now, instead of sucking your thumb due to stress, you'd silently ask for mingi's fingers to put in your mouth while he would use his other hand to gently massage any areas causing you tension. instead of nibbling on your fingers whenever something funny showed up on television, you'd subconsciously grab at one of mingi's long fingers and swipe your tongue around it, smiling when his familiar taste welcomed your taste buds.
mingi found it endearing, he really did. just like you let him lay his head on your lap for comfort and scratch his scalp when life got a bit too difficult for him, he let you use his hands as a haven for whatever you were feeling, and whenever. it was crazy that, despite his size, you were as equally his shield as he was yours.
it was even crazier, however, when you both found out how much you loved each other. the moment you decided to get intimate, your love and almost constant need for sucking off your boyfriend became that much more apparent than wanting his hands. mingi understood how much you liked the closeness, so he'd offered himself for whenever you needed in private. he knew that later he'd also get to have you, so it didn't matter to him.
tonight, however, especially since you both scheduled to have a car movie night date to a romantic chick flick, it was going to be extra hard not begging for him.
mingi drove you two to the area where the projector and sheet was with other open trunk-cars. during the entire drive, you were biting your lip, forcing yourself to not grasp at your boyfriend's fingers as he was holding the steering wheel. it was definitely not the right time to gain his attention, however, so you did your best to stick it through. it didn't help that mingi would occasionally put one hand on the wheel while the other would caress your thigh-- lovingly of course, but not-so-innocent thoughts would flood your mind every time he made the innocent gesture.
once you were there and opened your own trunk, you and mingi would push the back two seats of the SUV forward to give you two more room. opening the trunk and situating the blankets and pillows you brought with you on the interior ground, you both laid down on them while cuddling each other, face forward to see the upcoming movie while being able to feel comfortable.
the movie was funny, mysterious, and romantic all-around. you would hold onto your boyfriend's fingers and put them over your lips in case you felt like having them, but to mingi's small but fortunate dismay, you didn't put them in your mouth. in private, mingi doesn't mind you using him in any way possible, but in public (or in this case, semi-public), it would do something him that he wishes he could calm down but can't. you weren't holding up any better, as you still had that lingering need for your boyfriend since the car ride to the movie. what made it even worse was when a sex scene came up out of almost nowhere.
yes, the movie was for adults because of the curing and mildly crude jokes, but in no way did any of the descriptions say that it may content actual sex. there was the nudity warning, but you thought it would be a simple comedic "flash scene". nope. the couple had only flash spotting of humping and kissing and love-making during the five-minute scene. you could feel your boyfriend's heart race that much more, his adams apple making an almost cartoonish gulping sound. as for you, the fingers you were now fiddling with on your lips were now being held tightly by you as you begged to yourself to not get turned on. it didn't work.
once the movie ended past dusk, you and mingi got out the trunk and closed it, then got into the driver's and passenger's seats. as mingi was setting the map to drive you two home, your mind kept wandering back to the movie, along with your rekindled want to have your boyfriend. but now it was too late, as he started to drive again. you waited and waited and twiddled your own thumbs before having an idea. mingi's hands were occupied, but his length wasn't.
the man was focused on staying in his lane in the highway, awaiting further instruction from the GPS before he felt his sweats getting pulled from the front. not wanting to look down and risk being a danger on the road, mingi cleared his throat before asking almost too innocently while staring straight ahead, "baby, what are you doing?"
disregarding his inquiry, you practically clawed through his confinements until you got to your target. pulling out his half-hardened length as he hissed from both the cold air and your firm grip, you smiled up at him. you decided to answer him by lowering your mouth onto his head. "ffff-" mingi whimpered as he did his absolute best to pay attention to the road. he groaned as your tongue swiped across the pre-cum that formed on his head, nearly dipping his head down.
softly jerking your boyfriend in hopes of getting him fully erected, you warned him: "focus, mingi. dont lose focus on driving." using his unoccupied hand to caress you hair, you looked up to find him nodding as his breathing became unsteady. but you both knew it would be hard for him not to snap.
with each suck, it got even harder to focus as your tongue felt so warm and welcoming against him. you could clearly see it as you were seeing the occasional blush from his face. he quickly turned to the right side of the highway to avoid rear-ending the car in front of him, almost scaring himself. you accidentally jerked off of him from the force of the turn, but quickly regained yourself to rest your mouth back on your boyfriend.
mingi's eyes went wide when he realized you were actually trying to make him cum instead of just simply using him, evident when your ministrations only heightened. "baby-" mingi pleaded as he tried using one of his hands to gently push you off him, "please dont. not here."
as he saw that you were too cock-hungry to listen, mingi frantically searched a place to stop at. he thankfully found an area in the forest, turning right into the grass until he knew you wouldn't be seen. much to the warning of the GPS re-routing him to their destination, mingi ignored the assistant. once he parked and turned off the map, he pulled you up off his rock-hard on and feverishly smooshed his plush lips onto your now-swollen ones. because of the place you were, mingi pulled off your lips to go to the back on the still-made trunk, motioning you to join him in the back of the car.
as you went to the trunk, you saw mingi hastily remove his restrictive clothing, with you following suit. both of you are now finally free of any limitations, back onto each other's arms and mouths as mingi's hands explored all he could. he once again pulled out the kiss to kiss down your neck and chest, latching on your erect nipple.
you groaned as your hands found a resting place on his hair, massaging his scalp in tandem with hip jerks. mingi held you hips down, letting go of your breast just to simply say, "wait, baby. let me take my time." suppressing a whine, you nodded and allowed mingi to have his fun with your breasts, occasionally flicking the bud and sucking the whole of the areola part in his cheeks as a challenge to see how much of you he could fit in his mouth as you did with him. spoiler alert: he was good, but not as good as you with him. your moans were loud, but it was exactly how he liked it.
"fuck, mingi. let me have your cock again. please," you pleaded now, understanding the pain he felt when you were teasing him while he was driving. plopping off your breasts to give them each a light blow and kiss, he watched as you shivered and panted from his actions.
mingi chuckled before sitting up, motioning you to lay curled up near his now red length. "ill let you suck me off if you let me fuck you with fingers."
you frowned a bit. you wanted him to have you on his girth after blowing him. "but-"
"you almost made me hit a car," he reminded you.
"i told you to focus!" you tried your hardest to gaslight. the man raised his hands to pinch and twist your used nipples, making you yelp and recoil from mingi. "hey!" you called out as your boyfriend laughed at your reaction before crying out when you tugged and twisted the same to his testes. you stuck your tongue out, "you're mean."
of course, you both know it was the brat in you talking, but knowing what type of man you were with, mingi looked past it and simply gave you the ultimatum. "either we do what i say or you get no fingers or dick for a week." you widened your eyes and whined clearly getting stress from not being able to get you way. leaning down to kiss your temple while rubbing your hip to relax you from the current space your body was dragging you to, he loosened the ultimatum a bit. "it's okay. if you be good for me and cum on my fingers, ill get you off on my cock any way you want."
your eyes lit up instantly, causing mingi to smile. "really?" you asked, hoping he wasn't joking.
he nodded as his hand now went to rub your pelvis. "i promise baby."
leaning down to give you a reassuring kiss, you reciprocated before reaching up to hold the hardened length in front your face. mingi did his best to not jerk his hips up as he sighed from your hot mouth once again sinking into your mouth, immediately slurping off any pre-cum that beaded his tip. using the hand he was massaging you with, he pushed your legs enough to have access to your pussy. mingi slowly and leisurely pushed his middle finger into your wetness. as soon as his digit touched your skin, you gasped from the sudden shock and immediately cried out. without thinking your throat clamped down on mingi's shaft, making him choke out as he worked you open for his second finger.
"shit, your mouth is always so damn good," he panted, his fingers now steadily pushing in and out your gushing cunt. the car was filled with your muffled gags and whines while mingi's deep exclamations along with your loud core rung in your ears. "you're truly gonna be the end of me. ah, fuck..." his actions on you plus his facial expression told you how close he was to release.
wanting to make you cum first, mingi leaned over and held your leg open while his other hand curled inside you, occasionally using his thumb to rub against your previously-untouched clit. shaking from your release coming, you patiently until mingi gave you the go-ahead to let go. "mingi, im- ahh!" you exclaimed as his length fell off your mouth while your hips jerked into his hand, breathing heavily from the overstimulation creeping up on you as mingi prolonged your orgasm from pulling out your hole and furiously rubbing your clit.
remembering your boyfriend, you took his length back in your mouth, clamping down as sucking on it as you were lazily jerking off the large part of him your tired mouth couldn't reach. "oh, fuck. im gonna-" holding you to himself as you kept your iron grip on his girth, you felt ropes of cum spill from mingi's girth to your mouth as he groaned in relief. you happily sucked off all you could, swallowing until his length was clean.
mingi sighed while in a now sit-lying position, pulling you upwards and in for a loving kiss. "good job," he congratulated you, rubbing his cleaner hand on your cheek before sucking off the other of your juices into his mouth. you both enjoyed each others' tastes very much, making it easy for you two to get each other off for the sole purpose of tasting each other. when he cleaned off his fingers, mingi asked, "now, my flower, how would you like to be fucked."
you didn't mean to moan, but being reminded that you were going to be able to choose your reward, especially when this was your reward, you couldn't help but exclaim in the only coherent way you could right now. mingi chuckled before waiting for you to gather your thoughts on your decision on the desired position. "i want to ride you while i suck your fingers," you concluded, blushing in spite of the exposed state your were at.
your boyfriend simply nodded before saying, "okay, we can make that happen." mingi sat straight up and brought you to his lap, chest-to-chest. he watched at how utterly beautiful you looked from his current line of vision. bringing his hands to your waist, he ran them from up your shoulders down to your hips before carefully lifting you up by your ass. as you held his girth to where your hole, and he would meet, he wants to make sure you're ready. "you ready?" he asked, thumbs stroking as much of the skin of your ass it could.
you nodded, "yes, baby."
you both smiled as you shared a kiss, gently making out as mingi lowered you down on his firm girth. you both broke the kiss to gasp from the intrusion of love through the penetration. you had to adjust to mingi's size, even if you were on him just a few days ago. he was just so huge that, while your mouth got used to him, he would have to continuously open you up for him. it hurt at first, having him in you so deep, but after a few minutes of slow grinding and praises from your boyfriend, you started moaning more from pleasure than discomfort.
mingi placed his hands on your sides, pulling you closer to him as he slowly lifted you up and down his slick length. you inhaled sharply and shivered as you were felt every ridge of your boyfriend, with mingi breathing heavily from your cunt practically choking and soaking him. when the pace sped up, your cunt would clearly be hard wetting your boyfriend's lap.
as you were set to emptying your mind from how your boyfriend was fucking you, mingi helped turn you to lay your back on his chest without coming off him. he brought his fingers to your mouth, to which you happily invited in your saliva-slick mouth. "mmmh," you moaned as you now bounced and ground your hips on your boyfriend's girth, feeling proud of yourself in how you got to be so lucky with such a man.
mingi moved his other hand to rub tight circles on your clit, causing you to make high pitch moans from the extra stimulation. he wanted you to fully let go, and you knew it. "come on, baby. cum for me," he kissed under your ear, making you twitch and cry out. "let that tight pussy make a big mess on this cock. im all yours." he stopped circling your clit to tap against it, fully sending you to the edge as your eyes welled with tears as you came hard.
"fuck!" you exclaimed loudly on mingi's fingers as you greatly wet his length. "m-mi-ngii~" you hiccuped as your mind focused on pushing yourself harder on your boyfriend, trying to milk every drop of cum that could come out of him. and so you did, with him chanting your name before releasing another rope of cum into you as he held your hips down to fully enjoy his orgasm.
both of you were panting heavily, you especially exhausted from the overstimulation you just experienced. taking a minute to catch your breath, you felt your boyfriend remove his now limp length from your cunt. you instinctively grabbed his hand to move his fingers from your clit and sucked on it, smiling from how sweet you tasted.
mingi snorted before lifting you off his lap and folding you in half. "gi, what are you- oh my god!" your mouth as now hung open as your boyfriend held your thighs open, slurping up all the cum he emptied in you. ignoring your legs shaking and your desperate pleas to slow down, he cleaned you up, licking and nibbling your puffy folds until you were pushing his head away, sounds of shivering only being made from you as you lost almost all your thoughts.
going up to cuddle you and calm your shivering down, mingi smiled as he saw you slowly fall asleep. when sex was intense, you'd tend to sleep fast instead of go through the normal aftercare routine. giving your forehead a peck, he did his best to put your clothes back on as well as his own, move the dirty blankets and pillows to the front, and took a spare pillow and blanket to help you rest soundly while he drove you both home.
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